Spring Chickens

Alcatraz making a turn in the right direction?

2012-01-30T19:37:00.003-05:00

Not sure if you're following along with Alcatraz or not, but we're heading into the fifth hour of the show this week, and it's GOT to turn a major corner or else it's already become far too stale.

In a world where all the inmates and administrators from Alcatraz disappear into thin air, and then slowly begin to reappear in San Fransisco, the glaring questions are: 1) where did they go? 2) why are they back? and the tertiary concerns of, what do they want, and how does Sam Neill know they were going to return.

At this point there's been a pretty standard "crime drama" format where a criminal appears, does some trademark stuff, elude the cops, but a specialist on inmates from Alcatraz figures out their pattern and captures them in the end.

It's time to reveal some enthralling mythology, some crazy back story or a super power or SOMETHING because ... well ... the chick's not that hot, Sam Neill isn't being used to his full potential, and Jorge Garcia isn't being funny or loveable.

Sam Neill doesn't want to be fed. Sam Neill wants to hunt.

I wanna want to enjoy it - but it's up to them to continue to make it an interesting, mysterious and challenging show. If they don't ...

Set Sam Neill free, give Jorge some super powers and teach the chick how to dress, and I'll watch ep. 6. How's that sound?

Zombie Dinosaurs recapper

2012-01-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I put an update on a side-project I'm running, but here they are:

Super Dinosaur's Barber Spaceape

Reconstructing the Napoleonic wars with dragons

Supernatural cops, Castle and applying Marshall McLuhan

Some confessions from strippin' 1 / 2 / 3

Serial killer's debut in Korea published posthumously

700 pages of bad sidekicks on Planet 999

Twitter hits

2012-01-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

I love Twitter so much ... it brings everything you want, right to you. Awesome!

Twitter hits from the last little bit:

Hockey hilarity

Hannah @hamhamftw
"If the #Canucks had come out any flatter Tuesday night, Dustin Penner would have eaten them." XDDD *cryiiiing*

Don Cherry Parody @DonCherryParody
THIS GUY CASPER DOG FOOD FOR SENATORS HAS ONE OF THESE š THINGS IN HIS NAME, YOU KIDS, NEVER TRUST ANYONE WITH A SQUIGGLY LINE IN HIS NAME!

Don Cherry Parody @DonCherryParody
YKNOW I KNOW BOBBY ORR NEVER LET ANY POINT SHOTS DEFLECT OFF HIM INTO HIS OWN GOAL, CMON LIDDSTRIM

Celebs

Al Yankovic @alyankovic
AHHH! OH GOD I’M DYING! NOOO!!! I—oh, wait, I had a beet salad last night.

Kyle Kinane @kylekinane
Took me 45 minutes of indecisiveness over what shade of brown before I realized, "You know what? I don't even need goddamn throw pillows."

Kyle Kinane @kylekinane
Two guys in this bathroom are discussing the smell of the shit I'm taking. One says dirt weed. I'm sipping scotch and listening.

Damon Lindelof @DamonLindelof
Betty White is a national treasure. Which is why Nic Cage is following an elaborate set of clues to find her.

Damon Lindelof @DamonLindelof
I try not to tweet LOST stuff unless it's absolutely necessary. This? IS. goo.gl/O1mn3
(link heads to How to Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich, by the Losties)

Craig Ferguson @CraigyFerg
According to the tabloids in my dentist's waiting room we can expect a result in the OJ trial any day now.

bob saget @bobsaget
Jeff, really, you're playing Vagina? @realjeffreyross: Up early doin press for my tour. Portland, Seattle, San Diego, Minneapolis & Vagina.

Even jokes about writing style guides

Fake AP Stylebook @FakeAPStylebook
To stay hip, use "po-po" instead of "police" (e.g., Po-Po Anti-Drug Task Force, Chief of the Po-Po, INTERPO-PO.)

Fake AP Stylebook @FakeAPStylebook
The adjective "hitlery" ("This hot dog tastes hitlery") should be confined to the editorial page.

Fake AP Stylebook @FakeAPStylebook
"Tebowing" is not, in fact, the same as "teabagging." Though it is awfully close to "humblebragging."

Onion Sports Network @OnionSports
SPORTSWIRE: NHL Accidentally Makes All Three Of Its African-American Players Work On MLK Day onion.com/wPv66o

The Onion @TheOnion
Arby's Now Charging $2.99 To Let Customers Go Behind Counter, Grab Handfuls Of Roast Beef onion.com/w6R0Vw

About 12 minutes of videos

2012-01-23T09:00:00.001-05:00

My buddy Eric is doing a big 30-day challenge where he's writing a song every day. I presume he's doing it for fun, but I don't know much about it. I managed to influence the title of one song to sound more "dinosaur-ish" which I'm more proud of than he knows.

Here's Day 5 : Prehistoric something something.

Another commercial installment of Jon Lajoie's work

SMBC Theatre's "Insecure Mugger" (this one's funny!)

Anniversary post: Stealing Hope

2012-01-22T09:00:00.001-05:00

Here's another anniversary post for you to go back and see where we were in the Tomb of the Undead a year ago. See how far we've come, revisit some old scenes, or catch it for the first time.

Casey's gets a shock at home with a surprise visit and a challenging preposition. Read it at Stealing Hope.

Anniversary post: You're a Snake

2012-01-20T09:00:00.001-05:00

Here's another anniversary post for you to go back and see where we were in the Tomb of the Undead a year ago. See how far we've come, revisit some old scenes, or catch it for the first time.

Howard Bolam feels shame betraying Miller, but Dr. Starkwood shows he doesn't care how business gets done, so long as it gets results. Read it at You're a Snake.

Anniversary Post: Under the Camarasaurus

2012-01-19T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here's the link to Under the Camarasaurus posted on this day a year ago.

After Casey Miller gets fired, two of his friends and former colleagues agree to give him the push he needs to get back on his feet.

Pet Peeve | Cyanide and Happiness

2012-01-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

LOVE this comic. The last panel makes my day.

Ford reaches his ideal height

2012-01-17T19:18:00.005-05:00

After weighing in at ... 330 lbs. Rob Ford is proudly going to be aiming to lose 50 of those lbs. in the next five months. Best of luck to him. Wildly popular and winning the mayoral race by a landslide, his antics have made him the scorn of the Toronto Star for the last few months - however I really think this will bring Ford back into favour.

Friday the 13th - and Leafers

2012-01-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

For the record, this was the year the Leafs had to start making positive strides or else. I just hadn't realized it yet. It'll be hard for me to admit this, but this is kind of a shocker ...

Part of me thinks if I write this in a smaller font it'll be less heresy:

I was watching the Senators whooping the Leafs earlier in the season, knowing that they had nowhere to go but down, stripped of all their second-line and secondary talent, traded away for picks and prospects (but mostly picks) so they could rebuild.

But the Sens were good. The are good. They were supposed to bomb, but instead they had a spark.

And I started to think ... (to myself! I didn't say it out loud, thank God)... hey, I don't mind that Spezza guy. Yeah, Alfredsson's a bastard-rat, but ... he's kinda cool. I like Nick Foligno, and the big bastard rookie defensemen they had were brutes (Zack Smith). I started thinking ... ugh ... hey, I don't mind the Sens.

And that was it! That's when I realized, this is how far the Leafs have fallen from the tree in the last few years. I was starting to think I liked the Senators. .... (I'm frowning just thinking of it - and even when I look at the standing I wrinkle my nose thinking about them).

In any case, the Leafs had to start doing something more than stink more times than they don't. Stink a LOT less often. I wasn't sure that John-Michael Liles and Tim Connolly were going to be the solution, to be honest.

However, they're doin' great! I'm hanging on every game as best I can. The players have been good, the team has been pretty good, and there's been different players stepping up at different times, which is making for exciting times, too.

Anyhow - Leafers after 42 games, who require 1.14 ppg, should be sitting around 48.14 points, if they're hoping to make the playoffs. AND they're at... 49 points, which is right on pace for being around the 8th seed in the playoffs, and presumably a first-round match up with the irresistible Boston Bruins, eh? Maybe the Rangers? Still half a season to go.

Nursery shot update

2012-01-12T09:00:00.000-05:00

You can't tell by just looking at this, but this crayon on canvas masterpiece is a formidable 16" x 12" though this image is rather square.

This'd look totally boss in a sweet frame.

The expectation is to have apparently five of these in the nursery - though I'm having my doubts that there's enough wall space. However, I would be eager to have a rotating exhibit ;)

Don Kerr | Rest in Peace

2012-01-11T09:00:00.001-05:00

I only learned the other day while helping my neighbour Yvonne take out her recycling that her best friend and housemate Don had passed away due to a short but severe battle with lymphoma.

He lent me tools, gave me a fan and was always eager to offer anything to help us out. He even gave me a copy of his DVD that you can read about below, and brought us tulip bulbs from Holland.

Here's the obituary:

Donald Campbell Kerr - Born Montreal, Quebec May 11, 1921 - Departed Port Perry December 15, 2011. quietly in his sleep after a brief battle with Lymphoma. Leaves best friend Yvonne Pepper, Children - Patricia, Deborah, Donald, Charles, Desiree, Grandchildren - Abbey, Liam, Victoria and Charlotte. Pre-deceased by Wife Doris (Pat), Son Campbell and Grandson Nicholas. After graduating University of Toronto Schools (UTS) and working for Bell Canada, Don joined the 2nd CDivision Signals as a signalman, then attended the Officer's Training Centre rising to the rank of Lieutenant. he volunteered for overseas duty in 1942, landed with the troops at Gold beach on D-Day and saw continuous action as part of Operation Market Garden, the liberation of Holland.

Mentioned in Dispatches for Distinguished Service and decorated with the Oak Leaf Cluster, Don was promoted to Captain and, in the postwar years, to Major. he served as an Aide de Camp to Ontario Lieutenant Governors, the Honourable Keiller MacKay and Honourable Earl Rowe. To ensure that future generations of Canadians would know and understand the sacrifice made for freedom, Don produced a DVD and delivered lectures to schools across southern Ontario.

In October 2011, Don received the Minister of Veteran Affairs Commendation, an award recognizing those who provided outstanding service to their country, their communities and their fellow Veterans. Don had an outstanding career in the land development and Real Estate industry. A strong advocate for municipal planning, he participated in the development of Canada's "First Planned Community" Bramalea, projects in Orange County California and ultimately assembled large tracts of land into what has become the heart of Mississauga. he had a strong sense of civic duty serving as a member of Etobicoke council from 1965-1982, member of the Conservative Party and a lifelong Kiwanian. For the last 10 years, Don became a well known and respected member of the community of Port Perry. He had a great passion for boats and music especially big band, swing and jazz. Though his last note has sounded, like a catchy tune, his memory springs easily to mind.

Dinosaur hobbyist deserves serious props

2012-01-10T09:00:00.000-05:00

Awesome dinosaur stuff!
First off - here's some sweet art inspired by the great Jurassic Park (1993).

Six Foot Turkey - Julia Vickerman

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Art World
Dinosaur art - the JP Exhibit (Just People) show dedicated to the people of the Jurassic Park film series. Sweet.

This segues to the man this post is named in honour of.

Paleontologists are bad-ass. Hobbyists are just as wicked.
Dinosaur hobbyist! Awesome collection!

I've argued before that paleontologists are so awesome that it was physically impossible that Ross Gellar was one. Here's more proof that dinosaurs are wicked.

Take Cameron O'Connor.

This guy is awesome. He has 250 dinosaur bones that he's been collecting for 18 years. Where does he get his bones? This 61-year-old role model literally funds his own paleontological digs. That's awesome. Unfortunately for me, no dinosaur bones have ever been discovered in Ontario, which sucks.

Anyhow, since 1993 he's been leading six friends across privately owned land in Harding County, South Dakota and three other digs in Montana. How bad-ass is this guy? He does all the digging by hand.

"A lot of people believe paleontology is this great romantic endeavor,” says O'Connor. “It’s backbreaking work... There are no machines helping, and in South Dakota the weather can be unbelievably hot and change in what seems like an instant.”

Whether the man with the Irish last name is baking or freezing in the bi-polar heat of South Dakota, ranging everywhere from an intense 103-degrees heat or frigid 11-degree evenings only 10 days later, he relents at nothing to get his fossils.

He's got Edmontosaurus bones, Tyrannosaurus Rex teeth, a Triceratops skull and horn (WHAT! Awesome!) and some coprolites and footprints. Pretty sweet.

What makes his hobby and growing collection even better is the genesis of how he got started:

“My wife is very supportive of me. She’s even the one who said, ‘If you like dinosaurs so much, why don’t you go learn how to dig for them?’”

Read that again. You can just TELL that his wife was being facetious, but he, fed up with her constant sarcasm and absence of support, instead invested in gear and land and brings back 250 giant solid rocks to "decorate" his house with. Awesome!

This guy is awesome!

Less awesome - overrated movies
While Jurassic Park was awesome, it can sometimes be overrated. Case in point, somewhere in England on the Internet, the 1993-classic has been considered Stephen Spielberg's greatest accomplishment to date, beating out films like E.T., Raiders of the Lost Arc, Jaws, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan and Catch Me If You Can.

I love dinosaurs - but you can't put Jurassic Park ahead of any of those movies. It's definitely the best Dinosaur movie of the bunch, but ... that's about it.

Lazarus is Poisoned post

2012-01-09T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here's a longer scene, but a complete scene, ready to roll. I hope you like it. This scenes takes up to Page 95, believe it or not. This story's gettin' long!

Going against their best instincts, the team continues to follow Escutcheon. Check it out at Lazarus is poisoned.

Jarome Iginla scores his 500th goal

2012-01-08T17:32:00.004-05:00

And it looked like this...

Well, it actually looked like this:

Tomb of the Undead's first random, unsolicited follower

2012-01-07T14:19:00.007-05:00

I was shocked to discover that the Tomb of the Undead has its first random, completely unknown follower signed up on Jan. 6.

I have no idea where "Bridget" is from, but she's absolutely welcome, and I hope she loves the comic. What a surprise for me this afternoon.

This is a definite milestone, and I'm happy to have her following. Welcome Bridget.

2011 Reading List

2012-01-03T09:00:00.003-05:00

The reading list is an interesting exercise, because I can remember the special places I was while I was reading, in some cases (whereas, most of it's done lying in bed). The nostalgia of it all is all the more prevalent when I look at last year's list, where I did most of the reading in a quiet room at my old place of business during my lunch hours (which might be another indicator that I wasn't fitting in there.)

I had a strong start to the year that set me on pace to read way more than I would have expected, courtesy of a pleasant, sunny trip to Mexico.

The Art of Dramatic Wr!tng, by Lagos Egri

Hannibal, by Thomas Harris

New Rules, by Bill Maher

Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut

Lost Encyclopedia, by Paul Terry and Tara Bennett

Heart of Darkness (but NOT Tales of Unrest) by Joseph Conrad (my emphasis)

The English Patient, by Michael Ondaatje

Fifth Business, by Robertson Davies

Driven, by John Lawrence Reynolds and Robert Herjavec
(This book is a vacuous waste of time, FYI)

The Alphabet of Manliness, by Maddox

What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding, by Thomas Hill

Animal Farm, by George Orwell

Where the Sidewalk Ends, by Shel Silverstein

The Jungle Book, by Rudyard Kipling

The Little Book of Zen, by Lawrence Teacher Books

Things the Grandchildren Should Know, by Mark Oliver Everett

Gremlins 2: The New Batch, by David Bischoff

Anniversary post: Clear Out Your Desk

2011-12-31T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here's another anniversary post for you to go back and see where we were in the Tomb of the Undead a year ago. See how far we've come, revisit some old scenes, or catch it for the first time.

Dr. Casey Miller loses his career, and realizes his career was all he had. Read more at Clear Out Your Desk.

Unhappy with Pizza Pizza

2011-12-29T14:51:00.002-05:00

Pizza Pizza folks in Grimsby
63 Main St. W., Grimsby, ON L3M 4H1
(905) 527-1111

Dear Pizza Pizza,

I like Pizza Pizza, I love the creamy garlic sauce, the crust and the chicken wings. I love the choices and delivery options, especially the online delivery opportunities. It’s incredibly well-conceived and customer–centric delivery. I really enjoy Pizza Pizza.

However, I have yet to return since last October after an incident with an employee on my wedding anniversary with my wife. When I think of Pizza Pizza now – I only think of this story:

My pregnant wife and I were en route to Niagara Falls when she told me she needed a restroom. We stopped in Grimsby, ON for a break when we saw a Pizza Pizza. She needed the washroom, but she was also hungry.

Before she used the restroom, I encouraged her to select a pizza slice on display. She selected a particular slice before she went to use the washroom.

This is where things became unacceptably awkward: because the employee did nothing.

I suspected at the time that there was a pizza in the oven that the employee was waiting to finish cooking, before addressing us, but … he was just leaning against a shelf, ignoring me. We made eye-contact, and then he looked away, proving there was something suspicious.

I figured then, that he was waiting for my wife to return before he served us. She was in the washroom for five minutes. The employee didn’t say anything to me, didn’t acknowledge me, didn’t’ serve me this entire time.

Please, imagine my discomfort. I was literally standing there for 300 seconds, wondering what I’d done wrong to be ignored like this.

No doubt, after my wife returned from the washroom, I’d obviously lost my interest in being a “customer of Pizza Pizza.”

Fed up, my wife and I were leaving, when the employee finally said something:

He said: "Next time you come, just use the washroom,” and " don't create a charade of pretending to want to order something.”

I was speechless! Not only had he ignored me as a customer, but he was accusing me of scheming a charade for my pregnant wife to use the washroom!

He was concocting a fantasy, (that we were being dishonest, lying to him, and being manipulative to take advantage of his business,) rather than warming up our pizza while my wife was in the washroom.

I have never been in “yelling match” let alone in a “public argument” but I was astonished and furious that he was suggesting that we were somehow being dishonest, lying to him, and being manipulative to take advantage of his business.

No doubt, after he’d yelled at me, I was in no mood to change my mind and become a customer of Pizza Pizza again. We left, the entire time the employee was insistent on getting the last word in – hardly the customer service I’ve enjoyed for years, nor is it up to the standards I’d expect of the Pizza Pizza brand.

Whoever was working that afternoon is a liability to your good name. I hope you make the necessary adjustments.

I'd like to say that I've been able to set this experience aside, but in the past several months, I have not ordered a Pizza Pizza product since.

I hope you understand,

Thank you for hearing my concerns

Leaf's playoff pace

2011-12-27T09:52:00.004-05:00

So Leafers .... where are we at with the season?

After 35 games, the team needs to have 39.26 points to remain in the playoff hunt at the end of the season, which they are, with 40 points in the team wanted to have 34.5 points, technically speaking, to retain a playoff spot pace.

To make it to 92 points, you need to average about 1.22 points per game - and the Leafs are just doing that, which is great. They were somewhat expected to scrounge for the final spot, not challenge for the Easter Conference lead, like they were at the end of November.

So far, so good. They've maintained a playoff pace (overcoming key injuries to Connolly, Reimer, MacArthur, Lombardi and Komisarek - almost an injury at every position, for many games. As for character injuries, you could argue that Armstrong and Brown have been missing as well.

By their 40th game on Jan. 8 - let's hope they can reach the 46-point mark, and keep things going.

Here's the rest of the sched IF you believe that 92 points will be enough to get in (which, right now, technically IS, but it could certainly require more than that ).

57.5 points by Ground Hog Day
69 points by Feb. 24
80.5 points by Mar. 16
... and of course, 92 points by Apr. 8

WTF Collective 3 (Jon Lajoie)

2011-12-24T09:00:00.001-05:00

More videos - this time with some music. Jon Lajoie's latest WTF Collective. Nice.

But wait, there's more! SMBC Theatre presents Leprechaun Hunters!

Maddox on KATU Channel 2, Portland

2011-12-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here is Maddox on his book tour. See some samples of his material.

Always pleased to see what Maddox is up to.

Of market shares and time shares

2011-12-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

More fund-raising foibles

I've not been in a timeshare presentation, but I heard that a friend of the family's honeymoon was interrupted by quite a long one, which sounds like it was horrific.

There is NO such thing as a free lunch. That's not just an expression, it's an adage to help you navigate around timeshare presentations in disguise.

Boardroom table | Fundraising Faux Pas!

2011-12-20T09:00:00.001-05:00

I was at the casino in Windsor over the past weekend, though this was written over a year ago and drawn before I left for Windsor last Friday. I watched some folks play Craps - and I still don't have any idea how that game works.

Fundraising Faux-Pas!

2011-12-19T09:00:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since we've had a Fundraising Faux-Pas update, so this is especially special.

Hope you like it.

Check out the rest at: Fundraising Faux-Pas

Bill Watters returns! ...

2011-12-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

... as far as I know.

He'd been lost to me while Arlene Binnan (I'm not sure if that's her name, if that's how you spell it, or if she's even HEARD of Canada - what with her ubiquitous and unending coverage of everything American) took his time slot. I miss him.

The real reason I'm posting this:

@RealBillWatters

He's back, and apparently he's not worrying about being on Twitter - I hope he realizes the value it has to connect with his followers and have information delivered directly to your computer without ever having to type in a search command.

Courtesy of Bill, I've learned something about Kaberle I didn't know:

Tomas Kaberle's play has slipped over the past 18mos.It coincidentally corresponds with his marital dissolution.Too much free time

I know his play has slipped, I didn't know it was in cohesion with his wife agreeing he's a no-good professional as well as the Leafs.

Bill's conceded Jeoffrey Lupul has been far more valuable than he expected:

Lupus.Forgive me for I was wrong and you were right.You have been right all along and I have been wrong.

This isn't necessarily revealing, other than he has realized he can call people names and not be held liable to the same standards as if he were on the radio. To my knowledge, I cannot recall him calling Jeoffrey, "Lupus" on the air.

The tragedy is only 2,771 people are following him ... but time will improve that if he is able to translate his constant haranguing ion Ovechkin to only 140 characters.

I love Wilbur, I'm sure everyone does (Bill, if you read this, know that everyone who's worked on air with you has said they've appreciated it on air, as far as I know - except the second Hayes - he may have said something, but I never listened to him if I could help it).

Welcome back to the mainstream - rather than being sent to the back of the 640 bus for 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there. Glad to have you back!

Third base OR Chivalry is dead

2011-12-15T09:00:00.001-05:00

Too high concept? I really like this one!

Anniverary post: I Tend to Agree With Your Partner

2011-12-14T09:00:00.001-05:00

Here's an anniversary post for the Tomb of the Undead - go back and see the an old post from the first act to refresh your memory on how far we've come.

Teaser pic for I tend to agree with your partner - Dr. Casey Miller is given the shock of his career, after receiving the shock of his career in I Tend to Agree With Your Partner. Check it out.

Batman gitch

2011-12-13T09:00:00.001-05:00

When Alfred doesn't get to the laundry hamper in time.

Batman in a gitch pinch.

Latest nursery shots!

2011-12-12T09:00:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone is as wowed by our nursery shots as I am. I did a bit of the painting, and I technically helped with the crib - but I had no idea it would turn out looking so awesome - that's all my wife's doing.

She picked the colours, the dinosaur border (thought it was because she knows dinosaurs are cool - by virtue or me) and she picked all the furniture out (which our loving and greatly appreciated family gave to us from the baby shower - THANKS!) and assembled almost entirely on her own - while I was being a loner making comics in the basement.

apparently the cat feels she's fit to babysit ...

This is a shot of dinner at some point - I made it, while I had nothing to do with decorating the nursery, it looked good on a plate one evening. Would you agree?

Hope you like the shots. all the best.

Hacksaw holidays!

2011-12-09T09:00:00.000-05:00

Happy holidays from Hacksaw Jim Duggan!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Twitter highlights

2011-12-08T09:00:00.002-05:00

Some highlights from Twitter - I love it!

FakeAPStylebook

Stories about turducken are old hat. This year's hip new entree is chimpsharktypus.
Be careful not to type "I BURIED PAUL" when you mean "cranberry sauce."
Our book, WRITE MORE GOOD, is the perfect gift for anyone you don't want to spend more than $15 on.

DonCherryParody

YKNOW @LeafsBB20 IS RIGHT ABOUT IRISH PEOPLE HOLDIN A GRUDGE, WHY DA YA THINK HARDY ASTROM STAYS FAR OVER THERE IN EUROPE AWAY FROM MY FISTS
YKNOW IF THIS NEW DALLAS OWNER WANTS TA SELL TICKETS HE SHOULD TRADE FOR BOBBY RYAN AND TELL EVERYONE HIS DAD IS NOLAN RYAN FROM BASEBALL

rickygervais

“@simba075: is it wierd I follow you and didn't watch ANY of your shows?” No. Jesus had loads of followers and didn't even have a show!

coachrw63

Just gave all Dad's their son's jerseys. All claimed to be @PKessel81 's dad. @armdog dad would only accept jersey if it had bandaid on it.

alyankovic

I know it makes sense to alphabetize my DVD shelf, but it still seems wrong to have "Hotel Rwanda" right next to “Hot Tub Time Machine.”
Even though @beyonce has nearly 2 million followers, she has never tweeted once. Very Zen. Take note, @dalailama!

twolinepass

just saw an ad on NHL network that featured alex ovechkin scoring a goal. how old is that footage?

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert

An elderly man has returned cash he stole from Sears in the 40s. It was Sears' most profitable day since the 40s.
I HOPE JAY THE INTERN COMES BACK SOON TO SHOW ME WHERE THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS.
Apple is reportedly working on an improved version of auto-correct. Wow, that is a really grape irving!

Secret to great hair

2011-12-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if this really leads to "great" hair or not - but I noticed a few weekends ago (like back in September) that after a weekend without a regular shower that my hair had some serious volume.

It was because there were still some "natural oils" in my hair - which was allowing me to tug and shape it. I was getting some reliable "hold" and it got me to thinking:

My wife doesn't wash her hair every day. Why should I? Especially if I can get the same effects of gelling it without having to add any hair products?

Boy was I right! I honestly might be the last guy on the block to know about this - but not washing your hair all the time is awesome! I've had the same bottle of shampoo ALL YEAR and I've not had to buy hair gel in ages - which is awesome.

When you wash your hair every day, you wind up with clean, but lame hair that just sits there and does whatever it wants - not washing it all the time gives you WAY more options and abilities.

So after a shower - I just dry it off, give it a combing, and it's right as rain all day - no extra steps. It's perfect for the man who was only gelling his hair because he didn't want to look like a slob at work, but wouldn't think twice to gelling it if he didn't have to.

Take the "Awesome hair challenge" and don't wash it for a couple days this week and see if you don't mind your hair being AWESOME without effort.

It's perfect*

*may smell a little**

**might be a lot.

New scene for Tomb of the Undead

2011-12-06T09:00:00.003-05:00

The second half of Act II continues with Why'd You Do It?

Struggling with jet lag and his professional relationship with Howard, Casey looks to make necessary changes in Why'd you do it?

I smashed through like four pages in almost a week - so after almost a month without an update, I managed to get a bunch up quickly. I hope you like it.

Anniversary post: No Guts, No Glory

2011-12-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here's a refresher, if you haven't gone back to check the story out, see how far we've come by linking here:

Here's a teaser pic for the beginning of Scene five, titled "No guts, no glory." Check the scene out!

King St. Capers - ep. 7

2011-12-02T23:40:00.001-05:00

I appreciate my weather updates in the morning - always count on the immediate forecast of what it's like at the exact moment when I walk by...

King St. Capers - ep. 6

2011-11-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

I had this idea to commemorate my anniversary of working on King St. (on November 17)

Nursery shots: east wall

2011-11-29T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here are a few progressing shots showing how the nursery came along - more shots to come, of course.

Step 1 - green paint first - we didn't bother clearing the room of furniture. Will it come back to bite us? Stay tuned and find out.

Step 2 - add blue paint to the walls. Nice - the colours look great! The mixer at Canadian Tire deserves credit fixing one of the Rona paints. They look great.

Step 3 - the closet was an unspeakable ordeal. But it looks good from this angle. Let's leave it at that.

Step 4 - furniture was phased out for the flooring to come in. That carpet's life is short-lived.

Step 5 - see! No carpet!

Step 6 - JC starting the laminate floor. How's the hockey pool going!

Step 7 - The twins do a great job, eh. Lookin' really good.

Step 8 - they set up shop in the nursery to finish the floors in two other bedrooms after they finished the baby's room (you'll like the name - but we're not saying anything until the birth). - - unless of course my wife already told a bunch of people.

More pics to come!

Tomb of the Undead update

2011-11-28T09:00:00.001-05:00

This is really exciting because it's the beginning of the second half of Act ii, which is a bit of a milestone. It took a long time to get here, about a year to get to the halfway mark - perhaps by next year, this story will be told. Let's hope so.

There is some seriously awesome stuff coming up - I would imagine it's entirely unexpected, especially if you're having difficulty reading the pages or haven't read it yet.

PLUS - check out my Jesus. He's a handsome devil

Here's a link to the latest scene for Tomb of the Undead, called Lazarus is Charged:

The mythology of this story is revealed a little more as Jesus visits Bethany days before he is betrayed by Judas in Lazarus is Charged.

Nursery shots: south wall

2011-11-26T21:03:00.003-05:00

Here's the north wall of the nursery, step by step, as we worked along. There are a few updates to come, but here's the progress so far.

Step 1 - remove trim, test the colours, and detest the existing paint.

Step 2 - tape and paint the green walls. We're tearing the carpet out, so we didn't cover it while painting.

Step 3 - Get that blue paint up, too.

Step 4 - Move most the furniture out - I couldn't move the big stuff on my own. Had to wait for backup.

Step 5 - Here the flooring has already been laid, and it looks good.

King St. Capers - ep. 5

2011-11-20T20:30:00.001-05:00

This really isn't an "episode." It's more of a motivational poster for teenagers to slap up on their bedroom walls - 'cause Mr. Minestrone has some serious angst and attitude that you can only hope to emulate.

King St. Capers - ep. 4

2011-11-14T06:49:00.001-05:00

King St. Capers - ep. 3

2011-10-29T11:31:00.003-04:00

Here's the next one ...

ugh, LOL

I don't know why it took me so long- but I've definitely got some new characters to add to this. I can't imagine whey I didn't think of this before! Not sure if there deserves to be an infusion of "Parkhill Parables" to the King St. Capers, though. Maybe a spin-off in the works ;)

New page for Tomb of the Undead

2011-10-28T20:13:00.002-04:00

Here's the latest update for Tomb of the Undead to check out.

I posted it a few days ago - but I didn't get to setting up a link till tonight - sorry.

Dr. Miller, Dr. Bolam and Evelyn return to Escutcheon's office in search of a new direction in Call the office. Click to read more at:No Signal.

Hope you like it - this marks the half-way mark of the story, which is cool to get to.

Als0 - I'm making a roast tonight, with cocoa and brown sugar - I'll let you know how it is (granted, it wasn't made with the freshest meat in the store. We'll see how it goes ... )

Stay tuned for more King Street Capers - I'm going to work on one while the World Series wraps up tonight.

Leafs keeping pace

2011-10-27T22:04:00.002-04:00

First off - I looked at the standings from last season, and the Rangers took the final playoff spot in the eastern conference with 93 points. Which means instead of 92 points, the you need at least 93 points to make it to the playoffs, OR you have to be better than the 8th place team, meaning you need at least 94 points to make it in.

In any case - you definitely need more than 92 points.

Tonight the Leafs secured another win, bringing their record to 6-2-1, and up to 13 points, which is awesome. The threshold was to have more than 11 points by Oct. 30 , which they've done. So far so good - they're ahead of schedule for now. Good to see!

King St. Capers - ep. 2

2011-10-20T22:42:00.002-04:00

by popular demand - King St. Capers Ep. 2

... jeez these things are terrible, LOL

New Tomb of the Undead Post

2011-10-20T06:39:00.003-04:00

Here's an update for the latest scene of Tomb of the Undead, Call the Office (an homage to an old club in London, Ont. I think. Not sure if it's provincially renowned or not, but I like the name of it).

Dr. Miller, Dr. Bolam and Evelyn return to Escutcheon's office in search of a new direction in Call the office.

Hope you like it. I'm part-way through the next page, just some inking and shading to wrap up, but it's ultimately drafted up. Then on to the second half of the second act, where things ramp up once again. I read over some of the upcoming scenes, and the pace picks up and the story really mythology / story really picks up.

You can look forward to that.

King St. Capers

2011-10-17T22:44:00.004-04:00

King St. Capers | Episode 1

This is where I work. Mr. Minestrone is a barber there.

Vid for Legs

2011-10-12T20:17:00.003-04:00

As the title suggests, this video is made possible by my pal Legs, who retained and returned about 50 19 year old cartoons I drew back in Grade 6.

And thanks to my wife for putting these to music. Where else can you read 50 comics in two and a half minutes, while listening to music?

Nowhere but here!

Leafs, funny tweets and dinosaurs caught in a tree

2011-10-06T06:23:00.003-04:00

What the Maple Leafs need to make the playoffs (technically)
Looking forward to tonight's hockey game! Another season - I honestly don't know what to expect and don't even have a "feeling" of how they're going to do. After they've had so much consistency (in a bad way) it's difficult to think they don't look the same again... one thing I hope doesn't happen all season is Ron Wilson talking about the winning streak that they went on at the end of last season.

Resting on their laurels hasn't served anyone in pro sports - athletes always tell you to leave the last game behind you, whether it's a loss or a win, because you don't play the next game in the past. Or something like that. In any case, I think we have to watch the Leafs with the hope that they'll require 90 (maybe 92) points to make the 8th seed.

They'll need about 11.5 points per for every 10 games played, and be consistent about it. For this to work out ... this is their requirements.

11.5 points by Oct. 30

23 points by Nov. 20

34.5 points by Dec. 14

46 points by Jan. 8

57.5 points by Ground Hog Day

69 points by Feb. 24 (I'll have a son by then! He will cry louder than AM 640's broadcast of the games, I'm sure).

80.5 points by Mar. 16

... and of course, 92 points by Apr. 8

So we can track their progress along the way - should be interesting.

Tweets that made me laugh yesterday

@twolinepass (ryan lambert)

red wings announce "two-fer tuesday" at joe louis arena this season! niklas kronwall guaranteed to leave his feet twice as much on hits!

@twolinepass (ryan lambert)

the red wings' new "bobblehead thursday" will be particularly exciting because todd bertuzzi will demonstrate how best to make heads bobble

I also fell for a fake account (briefly - it sounded fishy as all could be) when @ESPN-PierreMcGuire said the Leafs had just traded, get this, Tyler Bozak, Naz Kadri and Carl Gunnarson for Jason Spezza.

It didn't sound too crazy - but Spezza's not really a "Burke" player, and it had my head reeling. Luckily, Leafs didn't do it. (There are a lot of big stars on junk teams that might get moved this season, like Spezza, Alfredsson, Iginla to name a few).

Follow me on Twitter

Missing dinosaur models found hanging from tree

Two fibreglass dinosaurs were found in a park in Nicolet Monday, after they disappeared from a popular restaurant on Highway 20 between Montreal and Quebec City.

Restaurant Madrid in Saint-Léonard-d'Aston, Que. is a landmark known for the 75 large dinosaur replicas that adorn the front of the restaurant, facing the highway.

Click to read more.

Hatching clones, bad ideas and new species

2011-10-04T12:00:00.001-04:00

With Terra Nova on t.v. tonight, there's no better time to check out cool dinosaur stuff - even though we're 26 minutes into the episode and dinosaurs have not yet appeared.

So here's a rehash of an old cloning idea, a new game with a stupid twist and a new species of dinosaur discovered in a mudstone where it was least expected. Seeing as how they thought it was a Ceolophysis, it's probably a Triassic dinosaur, though not sure what continent you'd find that sort of thing in (and I'm not going to check).

Scientist Wants To Hatch A Dinosaur
Jonathan Moormann
...ology

There was a cool special about cloning a dinosaur that I linked to years ago. This post seems to be a rehash of that. Still worth a peek.

I don't throw this term around lightly, but Jack Horner may be a mad scientist. The Montana State scientist has done a lot of important things for regular science, like finding the first evidence that dinosaurs may have cared for their young, but his most recent project seems like the type of thing dreamed up in a mountain lair rather than a lab. Jack Horner is no longer satisfied studying dead dinosaurs and has instead decided to hatch a real one. If my memory serves me correctly, this will result in a failed theme park and two extremely disappointing sequels.

Click to read more.

Jesus v. Dinosaurs interview
gamereactorTV

If you built cars out of dinosaur parts and cars out of Jesus parts, you could have them battle each other - in a game.

Fossil find at Pennsylvania museum leads to dinosaur discovery
By Scott Detrow
newsworks.org

Daemonosaurus chauliodus was found among other fossils in 2004 by researchers at the State Museum of Pennsylvania in Harrisburg.

A brand-new dinosaur can trace its roots back to the State Museum of Pennsylvania in Harrisburg.

Scientists at the center were working their way through a block of mudstone in 2004 when they found a skull that seemed a bit different. The researchers thought they were looking at fossils of a Coelophysis--a small carnivore.

Senior curator Robert Sullivan and fossil preparer Kevin Dermody quickly realized this was a different dinosaur.

"The skull is different, because it's shorter," he explained. "The teeth are procumbent in that they stick out towards the front of the skull. The teeth seem to be longer. And there's some other subtleties of the skull that differentiate it from Coelophysis."

Click to read more.

Tomb of the Undead

2011-09-28T22:40:00.002-04:00

I've got two new scenes to link to that I posted up this month - and they'll be the final pages I'll be able to post before October.

I hope you like them.

First is You Son of a Bitch, Bolam, which you can find at that link.

The next is Damnit Mugabe!

Twitter

2011-09-18T22:06:00.002-04:00

I had heard of Twitter, and didn't really get it, for a long time. As far as I could tell, it was basically the news feed you already get on Facebook, but with a limit to how many characters you can post.

Anyhow - a few weeks ago a tornado blasted through my mom's family's hometown Goderich, which was pretty freaky. Of course I was concerned and started looking it up on the Internet, and discovered some newspaper that set up a Twitterfeed that basically just kept pumping out links to videos, pictures, updates and news stories featuring the latest news as it happened in Goderich.

It was eerie, but so amazing. People were linking to images of the damage, updates from the police, videos of the storm clouds coming in, and all the latest updates letting everyone know that basically everyone in town was safe, but basically downtown got busted up.

After seeing the power of how much information can be blasted into one spot so fast, I was impressed. So I set up an account intent on learning more about it. I figured it might be an opportunity to spread word about Tomb of the Undead, while I was at it.

In any case, every news organization has an invested interest in Tweeting as well, which means as soon as TSN or something has a new article, they tweet it right away - basically, it's an immediate update. So instead of you having to go to various different sites to see waht's going on and if there's been an update, you can just load up one site and they'll tell you what they've done as soon as they've done it.

This is pretty impressive. You pick who you want to hear from, and then they bust out a bunch of links to show you as soon as they're ready - and that's awesome. Bloggers like Eklund from HockeyBuzz who does incredible trade rumours and stuff for the NHL, the hosts of the Fan 590's morning show tells you who's going to be on the air, etc, etc.

You can get whatever you want, and when something big and incredible happens, it "Trends" and you get the news as soon as possible as well. It's incredible.

You don't have to sign up and like it, but you should totally check it out. I think you can just look at it without making any kind of commitment.

Anyhow, you can technically follow me if you're on Twitter at @RogersRyan22 if you'd like. My Twitter account is on Team 22 as well - which is awesome.

What I didn't know about Roald Dahl..

2011-09-15T06:51:00.002-04:00

Check out this post about "Who will save Roald Dahl's writing shed?"

His family has asked for help in raising more than $790,000 to move the shed from its current location to the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre in town in Buckinghamshire. The funds would also help preserve and restore the shed and its contents, which haven't been kept in pristine archival condition -- instead, they've been in a shed, which is sometimes referred to in its less-than-glamorous condition as a "hut."

Why do they think it's so worthwhile? Read more to find out! I knew Dahl wrote some pretty seminal books for children, but had no idea he did so much else with his career as well. Impressive.

Dinosaur Sighting: Fermented Stegosaurus
I might have to put my red wine of choice, Fat Bastard, aside for a while, now that I know that this exists!

Sent in by reader Tim Goodwin, these (noticeably empty) bottles of dino wine were spotted at a Manhattan party. I had never heard of the brand before, but according to their website, Terra Fossil wines carry dinosaurs as a tribute to the rumor that fossil bones were once found on the Argentine vineyard where the wine’s grapes are grown. This could be true—many, many dinosaurs have been found in Argentina, including the sauropod Mendozasaurus from the same province as the vineyard.

Crimminy (as Gary Larson would say) I've got to get ready for work now!

Unsolicited job offers don't gain more credibility by assuring you they're "perfectly legal."

2011-09-10T09:31:00.003-04:00

I have a Workopolis account, but I haven't really applied for many jobs advertised there in all the years I've been on it. Sometimes I get a newsletter from the site with posts about funny things that happen at jobs, and that's about it.

However, the other day someone "saw my resume" and "offered me a job" at E.L.F. Finance Group L.T.D.

A team of "seasoned top executives in Finance and Investment Operations" with "unparalleled track records of success in brokerage operations" liked my old resume that I haven't updated with anything beyond construction and kitchen jobs ....

"We Have A Part Time Job For You!" the e-mail says.

From my resume they decided to offer me the opportunity to provide investment assistance resources to all business owners "willing" to invest their capital in order to expand their companies

The company has "registered requests for investment contracts in Canada." Does that mean they're not registered in Canada?

"We're currently trying to expand our services over in USA and Canada," the e-mail reads.

-Why do we prefer hiring people instead of opening an office over in Canada?
-Because it is far cheaper paying a 10% commission rather than going through all the paper hassle of registering a business in Canada and opening offices all over the country. Besides, there is no certainty that our company will succeed selling the products in Canada, that's why it is called a Market Test. Upon, a successful result, we will being opening offices in Canada.

It sounds like there isn't even an office to work out of? You just transfer payments from Canadian companies to the UK? .... uuuhhhhh

LEGAL

The job we are offering is perfectly legal , legit and all our transactions will be verified by our Financial Department before they are forwarded to our employees for cashout.

Any job offer that testifies that it's "perfectly legal" sounds a bit dubious. Probably not the best way to get people to buy in.

In an unrelated note, I heard of this scam that goes something like this:

it's a scam, newest one in the line.
by Watcha on reality-check.ca
June 9, 2011

You "receive" payments from overseas companies, deposit into your own bank account, then make "payments" to other companies on behalf of the company.

the scam part works like this.
you receive $1000 check from company A and deposit it into your bank.
company then tells you to pay X, Y, Z companies for $300 ec.
that's $900 and you keep $100.

Looks good?
not really...
The issuing bank of the "check" from Company "A" bounces and the money is taken out of your account to cover it $-1000. So you are now out $900 and have just given your wealth to 3 "companies" owned by the scam.

It is a variation on the "I buy your item for X amount including shipping and you send shipping money to Y person"

Aha!

Holiday's over

2011-09-05T08:44:00.002-04:00

It's been a quiet weekend at the cottage - and I've taken a few neat picture I think people will like, too - but the Internet connectivity is too sparse to load anything like a picture, let alone a website.

Spent the weekend working on my graphic novel and watching the first season of The Sopranos - which isn't quite what I expected. It's funnier and more interesting than I thought it would be, and doesn't seem to be as formulaic with its rising and falling action as a show usually would, and it never ends on a cliffhanger (which is odd). But interesting.

It's 11 degrees here today - a sure sign that the summer is fading.

Time to tidy up and hit the road and get back home in time to do the dishes we left behind and get my laundry done from last week, and I should probably cut the lawn, too - we'll have to see. :S

Holiday's over...

Maury Povich is ridiculous

2011-08-29T19:25:00.002-04:00

I don't know how he's lasted on the air while never changing his premise - Oprah went through many incarnations before retiring, Montell Williams a swell. Not that I've watched a lot of this stuff, but jeez, Povich remains the lowest common denominator of all humanity.

Divide by any lower and the result is undefined.

I was absolutely mesmerized by the first 20 minutes of his show after work today ... until I saw a recruitment commercial for an upcoming episode.

He looks like a pre-op Murphy from Robocop.

Maury Povich 2.0

Today's question was: Are you desperate to get pregnant and you don't care what anyone thinks? Call us: Call (888) 456-2879

How can I get a job pursuing my true calling - finding people who are desperate to get pregnant and they don't care what anyone says.

On his website you can download Maury Ringtones, too. Awesome.

Worst Leaf Trades from Hockey Buzz

2011-08-23T06:27:00.003-04:00

I've been desperate to get some more hockey news lately, and so I swung over to HockeyBuzz, which was my staple website during the NHL trade deadline this year. Let's face it, the one thing fans like more than neat trades (because it always marks the beginning of a new chapter when an unknown commodity might come in and turn everything around) is the rumours of a neat trade (which happens way more often than an actual trade).

In any case, HockeyBuzz.com has a new Leafs post reviewing the worst Maple Leafs trades according to Mike Augello. He posted the #14, #13 and #12 so far. Here they are, in that order.

#14 - November 24, 2008: Toronto trades Alex Steen and Carlo Colaiacovo to St. Louis for Lee Stempniak.

In November, 2008 the Toronto rumor mill was rife with speculation that Brian Burke, who had recently stepped down as general manager of the Anaheim Ducks was poised to take over as president and GM in Toronto. The club was being run by interim GM Cliff Fletcher, who had taken over in January after the dismissal of John Ferguson Jr.

Fletcher made a number of moves during his tenure, which included hiring Ron Wilson as head coach, trading veterans Hal Gill, Chad Kilger, the negotiating rights for Mats Sundin, as well as acquiring Mikhail Grabovski, Jamal Mayers, Ryan Hollweg and a swap of first-round draft picks on draft day that allowed Toronto to select Luke Schenn.

There were no great expectations of the club being a playoff contender, but they did manage to play over .500 in October before losing seven of nine games in November. With the team struggling, Fletcher decided to move two former first-round picks, 24-year-old Alexander Steen and 25-year-old Carlo Colaiacovo to St. Louis for forward Lee Stempniak.

Steen was selected 24th overall in 2002 and was entering his fourth season in Toronto. Under Pat Quinn and Paul Maurice, he played with a level of maturity greater than his age and contributed solid offensive numbers (averaging 16 goals, 25 assists). Under Wilson, Steen's role was marginalized, which was clearly evident by his scoring output (four points in 20 games).

Colaiacovo was selected 17th overall in 2001 and had split time between the AHL and Toronto for five seasons. His tenure with the Leafs was the ultimate in frustration because he flashed the skills of a top-four defenseman, but constant injuries never allowed him to establish himself. He had only played 10 games before the trade, mostly due to Wilson believing he was not in top physical condition.

The justification on the part of Fletcher was that Toronto was getting someone capable of playing a top six forward role in the deal, but that assertion was based on circumstantial evidence. The 25-year-old Stempniak was selected 148th overall in 2003 and spent four years at Dartmouth before signing with St. Louis. After a decent rookie season, the Buffalo, New York native scored 27 goals for the Blues in 2006-07 playing on lines with veterans like Doug Weight and Keith Tkachuk. The breakout season earned him a three-year, $7.5 Million contract extension, but he struggled the following year, scoring only 13 goals.

Ironically, this trade was made just five days before Burke took control in Toronto.

Steen struggled the rest of the season with St. Louis, scoring only six goals in 61 games, but rebounded with two consecutive 20 goal seasons and has matured into one of the Blues best two-way forwards. Colaiacovo’s injury problems have decreased slightly and he has been able to establish himself as a solid pro, averaging over 20 assists and 65 games played in the last three seasons.

Conversely, Stempniak was unable to produce in an offensive role in Toronto, with just 11 goals in 61 games. In 2009-10, he played effectively as a third line checker, scoring 14 goals before being traded to Phoenix at the deadline for minor-league defenseman Matt Jones and two low round draft choices. Once traded, he went on a scoring rampage with the Coyotes, scoring 14 goals in 18 games.

There is no doubting that Steen and Colaiacovo were not a good fit with their new coach and that trading them may have been inevitable, but if Burke made the transaction, he likely would have been able to acquire someone who fit into the team structure that he wanted to establish. The tragedy here is that less than three years after this deal was made, Toronto has virtually nothing to show for it.

#13 – March 13, 2001: Toronto trades forward Adam Mair and their 2001 second round pick(Mike Cammalleri) to Los Angeles for defenseman Aki-Petteri Berg

In the four years that Curtis Joseph patrolled between the pipes, the Maple Leafs received stellar goaltending that enabled them to enjoy a modicum of playoff success. They reached the Eastern Conference Finals in 1999 and 2002 and lost two bitter second round matches with the powerhouse New Jersey Devils, who went on to win the Stanley Cup in 2000 and lost in Game Seven of the finals the following year.

As much as that era was marked for Joseph's acrobatics in net, it was also known for the metamorphosis of the Maple Leafs blueline. The club had a group of capable defenders, with veteran Dmitri Yushkevich, youngsters Tomas Kaberle, Bryan Berard and Danny Markov, but Berard's devastating eye injury in March, 2000 forced Leafs management to look for additional help.

GM Pat Quinn had some success in making improvements as he was able to fleece former Leafs assistant GM Mike Smith when he traded oft-injured Alexander Karpovtsev for Bryan McCabe, but the acquisition of Cory Cross from Tampa Bay was not an upgrade. As the 2001 playoffs drew near, Toronto was not satisfied with their depth of their defensive corps, as one of Dave Manson, Petr Svoboda, Nathan Dempsey or Wade Belak might have to play regularly. With that, Quinn traded 22-year-old forward Adam Mair and the Leafs second round pick in 2001 to the Los Angeles Kings for defenseman Aki Berg.

It was thought at the time that the 24-year-old Berg was in need of a change of scenery to reach his unrealized potential. He was selected third overall in the 1995 Draft behind Berard and Wade Redden and was thought to possess the size, skill and skating ability to become a good NHL defenseman. Being a high selection, the Kings determined that he could contribute right away instead of staying over in Finland to mature. He split time between L.A. and the minors his first two seasons and played regularly for another 2 1/2 seasons without having much of an impact.

As soon as he was acquired, you could recognize that this was not going to be a case where a player just needed a change of venue to jumpstart his career. Los Angeles had accurately determined that Berg was nothing more than a third pairing defenseman and that was all he was ever going to be.

The frustrating aspect about Berg and his tenure in Toronto is that Quinn relied fairly heavily on him throughout his 325 games as a Leaf and for no apparent good reason. He had the size to manhandle opposing forwards in the defensive zone, but never seemed to have the desire to do it. His offensive skills were literally nonexistent (10 goals, 32 assists in 325 games) and in spite of being able to skate, he was frequently caught flat-footed and was often made to look like a statue by opponents(I witnessed this personally in a game in Buffalo in 2005 when Mike Grier, who could never be confused for Gilbert Perreault, walked around Berg as if he wasn't even there).

After four seasons in Toronto, the club did not attempt to re-sign him and he returned to Finland where he played five seasons with TPS-Turku before retiring last month.

Adam Mair was Toronto's third-round draft pick in 1997 and played five playoff games in 1999, as well as 16 regular-season games in 2001 before being traded to Los Angeles. After two years with the Kings, he was traded to Buffalo and played seven seasons for the Sabres as an effective energy line forward. Last season, he played 65 games in New Jersey.

The true tragedy of this deal is that Toronto's 2001 second-round pick was used by the Kings to select forward Mike Cammalleri. After three years at the University of Michigan and three years splitting time between the AHL and Los Angeles, Cammalleri blossomed in 2005. Since the NHL lockout with the Kings, Calgary and Montréal, the Richmond Hill, Ontario native has scored 163 goals in 437 NHL games.

This is a trade would've been considered terrible solely on the basis of the pain and suffering it inflicted on the members of Leafs Nation having to watch Aki Berg play those four seasons, but the fact that Cammalleri ended up being the draft pick Toronto gave up makes it one of the worst deals in the franchise's history.

#12 - Jun 26, 1975: Toronto trades forward Doug Jarvis to the Montreal Canadiens for defenseman/winger Greg Hubick.

The Maple Leafs used their first two picks in the 1975 Entry Draft to select centers, Don Ashby(sixth overall) of the Calgary Centennials and Doug Jarvis(24th overall) of the Peterborough Petes.

Jarvis was a stellar defensive forward who studied under the tutelage of Coach Roger Neilson for three seasons with the Petes. He blossomed offensively in his final junior year scoring 45 goals and 88 assists, which earned him 2nd Team OHA all-star honors. Neilson informed his friend, Montreal Coach Scotty Bowman that the 20-year-old pivot had superior work ethic and was one of the best face-off men in hockey.

Bowman pleaded with Montréal GM Sam Pollock to draft Jarvis, but the Habs scouts thought he was not big enough to play effectively in the league and they passed on him with each of their three first-round picks before he was drafted by the Leafs in the early second round.

About three weeks after the draft, Pollock contacted Toronto GM Jim Gregory about the diminutive center and negotiated a deal giving up 24-year-old defensive prospect Greg Hubick for Jarvis.

Hubick was selected by Montreal in the fourth round of the 1971 Entry Draft and played a year at the University of Minnesota-Duluth before playing three seasons with their AHL affiliate in Nova Scotia. He was not considered a top flight prospect and during his four years with the Montréal organization, he never played a regular season game. When recalled during the 1975 Playoffs after an injury to winger Steve Shutt, he sat on the bench until the final minute of the game.

The Strasbourg, Saskatchewan native made the 1975-76 Maple Leafs after being shifted from defense to wing by Toronto coach Red Kelly. He played on a line with rookie Ashby and Jim McKenny, scoring six goals and eight assists in 72 games, but that was the extent of his career in Toronto. He failed to make the club the following season and was sent to the Leafs minor-league affiliate in Dallas. After two more years in the minors, he signed as a free agent with the Vancouver organization and played five NHL games for the Canucks in 1979-80.

Jarvis had a Cinderella-like path to success in the NHL. He impressed in his first training camp with the Canadiens, but only made the club due to an injury to Jacques Lemaire during the pre-season. He played seven seasons in Montréal, never missing a single regular-season game. He was an integral part of the Habs four consecutive Stanley Cup championships from 1976 to 1979 as a top-flight checking line center and penalty killer. He was traded to Washington in 1982 as part of the Rod Langway-Ryan Walter blockbuster and was moved three years later to Hartford.

He won the Selke Trophy as the top defensive forward in 1984 and was also awarded the Bill Masterton Trophy in 1987 for breaking Garry Unger’s consecutive games played record of 914 games in a row.

The irony about Jarvis's career path is that he could have made a significant difference for the Maple Leafs teams of the late 1970’s had he not been traded. Roger Neilson left Peterborough in 1976 to coach Toronto's affiliate in Dallas and took over as head coach of the Leafs a year later.

Jarvis would have likely excelled playing for Neilson, who would’ve used his great defensive abilities to attempt to neutralize some of Montréal's high-powered offensive stars.

Toronto did not win a game in their 1978 Semi-Final match against the Habs or in their Quarter-Final defeat a year later, but it is possible that the presence of Jarvis in Blue and White rather than Bleu, Blanc et Rouge could have been the difference between victory and defeat.

Tomb of the Undead update

2011-08-21T22:08:00.002-04:00

I've finally wrapped up the next scene for the Tomb of the Undead.

Dr. Casey Miller, Dr. Howard Bolam and Evelyn escape from an unknown assailant in Escape from M____.

I'm still not comfortable drawing vehicles - but I sure had lots of practice in the last few scenes. This scene in particular was supposed to be a big chase in the streets of Marseilles, but frankly, I'm not sure anyone wants to wait as long as it'd take to draw five pages of a chase scene - so I kept it brief.

Also, when I wrote this scene, I titled it the name of the bad guy - but I didn't really realize that we wouldn't know what his name was yet until I was already drawing the thing. I assure you, his name comes up shortly, and it might be familiar if you've been following along for very long.

If anyone is a part of the Facebook group for Tomb of the Undead, I'm sorry if my updates over the weekend jammed your news feed. I started a few photo albums and put links in their descriptions, which wound up probably leading to about 30 updates in your news feed. My apologies for the inconvenience and annoyance :S

Hope you like the latest scene.

Thanks for reading.

RIse of the Planet of the Apes

2011-08-20T20:39:00.003-04:00

If you think it'd be neat to see sentient gorillas attacking cops on a bridge ... you should go see Rise of the Planet of the Apes. We saw it as a whim, standing in line at the AMC, and opting out of seeing Harry Potter, we picked the new film.

It was very cool - for all the reports that the acting was mediocre or whatever other faults they claim exist - it's COOL.

Honestly, the acting is fine, the story is fine (John Lithgow is a pleasure to see in all of his roles, and he's no exception in this film) but the main character is Caesar the chimp.

It's a bildungsroman of Caesar that shows you what preceded the Planet of the Apes that began with Charlton Heston. There are a series of neat Easter eggs from the first film that aren't too forced. There are a LOT of neat Easter eggs that make it a fun piece, but at the same time, it's still pretty awesome.

Here's the important part of the film - it's not about James Franco or his father or his girlfriend or the man who runs the Chimp sanctuary or the guy at the pharmaceutical company (though they each have their roles to play) ... it's ABOUT Caesar. The whole story was about him growing up and what leads him to do what he does.

There are surprises and incredible scenes that aren't just about blowing things up, but are about character development that's (importantly) SHOWN and not told. Nobody comes out and ruins the movie by telling you what's going on - but rather it's aced so well that you understand it all along, and it's shown to you with ease and detail that makes it incredibly compelling to watch.

This scene is AWESOME. Pivotal, climaxing and game-changing
all in one - perfectly executed.

Let's not forget that the apes get smart and do what they have to do for the prequel to the Planet of the Apes universe to exist (I won't ruin it) .. it's a neat movie, and it doesn't disappoint.

I saw it on a whim, but you should see it on my recommendation. It's a quick and easy sci.fi. that doesn't require you to do anything but absolutely enjoy it. Between the story, the acting, the character progression, special effects and spot-on direction from whoever put this thing together, the pacing and climaxes are executed with skill and precision.

I don't blog about every movie I see - but I sure did like this one.

Blast from the past

2011-08-20T11:59:00.001-04:00

I still love this video - The Lance had some great stuff back in the day.

and the immortal ...

awesome!

2011-08-12T12:00:00.001-04:00

Some places where you can go to find dinosaurs and be entertained, if you'd like. First off is the"Tree of Life" movie review. As far as I've heard, Brad Pitt is in it ... don't know the first thing as to what it's about.

Check Out a Dinosaur from Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life
Movieline.com
by Christopher Rosen

Oh, The Tree of Life — you confounding mystery, you! The latest bit of marketing wizardry from the long-awaited Terrence Malick film (which is set to debut at the Cannes Film Festival in May) has arrived online, and it’s a crystal clear look at one of the apparent dinosaurs in the film. Hey, at least it’s not another shot of that baby foot? Click ahead to have your mind blown, then stick around for more Buzz Break.

Click to read more.

Wednesday Comics Review: Uncanny X-Force 8 And Super Dinosaur 1
BleedingCool.com
Rich Johnston

You see, I fell for the cover, the image, the high concept, the first few previewed pages. That this was a silly, all ages, over the top, Axe Cop style adventure with talking humanised dinosaurs fighting other dinosaurs, possibly robots and throwing in more and more silliness. When that’s just the cover story. We’ve seen this before, Buffy The Vampire Slayer is a great example, the title and high concept hiding what’s actually going on.

And at the heart of Super Dinosaur is family. Firstly we see one child holding his on very peculiar family dynamic together, which is then threatened by the introduction of another family with their own nuclear dynamic that exposes his own creation for the fraud that it’s become.

Some creators are known for wearing their family values on their sleeve, such as Mark Waid and Alan Davis, very visibly integrating it into the high concept of their work. But Robert Kirkman here has hidden it under the bizarre images of a Tyrannosaurus Rex operating giant robot missile-laden arms. And that’s still all there. But at its heart, this is a drama about two entwined families dealiong with all manner of antagonists. And it’s so much deeper and richer for it.

Click to read more.

The Greatest Dinosaurs in Comic Books
ComicsAlliance.com
Chris Sims

Recently, Robert Kirkman and Jason Howard released the first issue of their all-new Super Dinosaur, where the creative team behind The Astounding Wolf-Man reunite to add robot arms, rocket launchers and shoulder-mounted laser guns to the grand and wonderful pantheon of comic book thunder lizards.

And what a pantheon it is. While they've never had quite the enduring popularity in comics that was enjoyed by gorillas, there have been plenty of super-villain and super-hero sauropods running around in comics over the years. That's why today, we're figuring out just what Super Dinosaur's up against in the lizardy legacy by running down a few of Comics' Greatest Dinosaurs!

Ryan North's appropriately titled Dinosaur Comics
Ninjasaur
Stegron the Dinosaur Man (no link available)
Godzilla (no link - but he battle Charles Barkley, which is kind of bad-ass)
Sauron (from X-Men)
Grimlock (from Transformers.. Robots who turn into cars or planes and fight over crystals or whatever? Eh. Robot who turns into a Tyrannosaurus and only wants to smash everything? Yes. - Sims comments, not mine)
Tyrannosaurus Reich
Dr. Dinosaur
Devil Dinosaur

Click to read more.

Last Sunday

2011-08-11T20:46:00.000-04:00

This happened a little while ago - but it's still pretty remarkable. We got home from my cousin's wedding (where there was a score of pro AHLers in attendance, which was cool) just in time for a pretty heavy downpour.

What I hadn't noticed about our front yard before was that in times of heavy rain, the storm drain can't keep up with the water. Our neighbour said that there's a natural flood plain that pours through their back yard and down toward a reservoir in the yard behind us.

This is pretty intense - well over the curb height. I waded out into it to see if the drain was blocked, but it wasn't - just totally overwhelmed.

Danger!

Surprises in publishing

2011-08-07T09:52:00.002-04:00

I was writing another article, like I do on a daily basis, and going through the dictionary to see how to spell a word, or even if the word exists: cottaging.

I'd interviewed someone, and they said they enjoyed going to the cottage, fishing and camping. I wondered if, for the same of visual consistency, I could use "cottaging" as a verb, and if I could, whether it had an "e" after the "g" to maintain the hard "G" sound.

For the record, for an example of both the hard and soft "g" sounds, there's no better word is "Negligent." I like that.

ANYHOW - Cottaging. I look it up ... and really, I'm glad I did.

— n
	( Brit ) homosexual activity between men in a public lavatory

This is derived from the British slang for a lavatory, which is a cottage, so it says.

Anyhow - had I said that the man liked fishing, camping and cottaging - and anyone was aware enough to know what I'd said, it could have been surprising.

This has been another segment in: Surprises in Publishing.

Worst ball league I've ever been in

2011-08-05T12:00:00.001-04:00

This year's baseball league I'm playing in has to be the worst league I've ever played in, let alone paid to pay in.

When I signed up for the team we were scheduled for 12 games, and then playoffs. I understand the team had trouble finding players, so we'd be welcome additions. I looked forward to it.

Of those 12 games - 4 were cancelled and as far as I know, they won't be rescheduled. Three were rain outs and the last was a scheduling f-up, because it was written wrong on our schedule.

Immediately, right off the bat, we've lost 25 % of the season, or 1/4 of the quantifiable value of the league. Two of those games had opportunities for the team to practice anyhow, but the team elected not to. So we haven't had a practice (also known as "added value") once this season.

Next - of the remaining 8 games, let's say we played the full 9 innings in half of those (even though I'm sure that's not accurate) the other half the time we only played 7 innings. I understand there are time constraints, but that's till time missed playing ball.

2 innings per game = 22% more of 1/2 the season lost. (or 11%)

So 25% + 11% = 36 % of the season is lost.

Factor in that we've got hardly enough women (so they play non-stop, and go up to bat 6 times a night) but plenty of men (so we sit three innings per game and bat about 3 times) you could argue that we don't play another 2 innings per game.

That's another 22% sitting out instead of playing ball.

36% + 22% = 58% lost value.

This means I'm receiving only 42% of the value I signed up for.

You might argue with my math or the weight I've given to it all - and I might provide some relief for resting out a few innings, too IF we had a one single practice during the entire season to return that value in investment - but we didn't. Nobody wanted to, and we had two inexcusable opportunities for it.

Tonight, case in point, the entire team was together - but we had the wrong day due to a scheduling snafu, which is infuriating in itself. Did the team stick around, fully dressed, with all their gear on an empty diamond to practice throwing, hitting and in-fielding for any amount of time?

... I won't even dignify that absurdity with an answer.

42% is my satisfaction rating based on my expectations of the quanitity of baseball I was expecting to play this season - and that's not factoring in the "quality" of baseball I might have been expecting - which would reduce my satisfaction significantly more.

Not a strong return on investment. Probably won't do this again.

Giant theropod discovery

2011-08-04T12:00:00.000-04:00

A giant new theropod was discovered called Zhuchengtyrannus magnus.

Weight: approximately six tonnes
Size: probably stood four metres tall, was 11 metres long
Name: means "Tyrant from Zhucheng"
Discovered: in 2009
Location: its bones were found in the city of Zhucheng, in eastern China's Shandong Province.
Time period: North America and eastern Asia during the Late Cretaceous Period, which lasted from about 99 to 65 million years ago.
What makes it unique: However, Zhuchengtyrannus stands apart from other tyrannosaurines due to a combination of unique features in the skull not seen in any other theropod. As well as a piece of lower jaw containing seven partly to fully erupted teeth, scientists found another piece of jaw bone containing eight teeth. For example, the teeth in the predatory dinosaur measure 10cm long.

Palaeontologists only had a partial jaw bone and part of the skull to work with, so it was difficult to gauge the creatures exact size.

Paleontologist Dr. David Hone is saying:

"There is no doubt that Zhuchengtyrannus was a huge tyrannosaurine," says Dr David Hone from University College in Dublin, Ireland, who led the team that discovered and named it.

"With only some skull and jaw bones to work with, it is difficult to precisely gauge the overall size of this animal.

“But the bones we have are just a few centimeters smaller than the equivalent ones in the largest T. rex specimen, so there is no doubt that Zhuchengtyrannus was huge,” Hone said.

“It can be distinguished from other tyrannosourines by a combination of unique features in the skull not seen in any other theropods,” he says.

Hone notes that only five carnivorous theropods so far discovered have been any bigger.

For the record, Dr. Hone has a blog called ArchosaurMusings.wordpress.com

It was a carnivore with huge powerful jaws, running on strong back legs, with puny front limbs.

Reported in the journal Cretaceous Research.

A key member of the international team of scientists involved in the study was Professor Xu Xing of the Beijing Institute of Vertebrate Paleontology and Paleoanthropology in China; he is a world leader in describing new dinosaur species, having named more than 30 dinosaurs.

Tyrannosaurines are a specialised group of gigantic theropods - a group of dinosaurs that likely evolved into modern birds. [Whoa! hold on there Matt Walker, Editor from Earth News!I can't really find a source, but I'm pretty that Tyrannosaurids are as dead an end of evolution as there is - please see the below image. You can see that tyrannosaurids go off into their own cul-de-sac, while birds continue to migrate out into the future. Just sayin']

Sources:
Giant prehistoric dinosaur cousin of T. rex identified
Bones of massive meat-eating T. rex "cousin" discovered
New dino in same league as T. rex
New dinosaur closely related to the T. rex discovered by scientists

Some dinosaur comedy today

2011-08-03T12:00:00.000-04:00

First off, this is an absolutely awesome idea! The trailer is hoping to attract funding - will you donate?

VelociPastor Trailer: The Tale Of A Priest Who Turns Into A Dinosaur
The Huffington Post

Every once in a while, something comes into your life that is so perfect you have to take a step back and thank whatever forces move the universe for putting that thing in your path. Such is the case with VelociPastor. Or we should say, such WILL be the case once its director raises the funds to produce the feature-length film.

Click to read more.

Here we've got the Top 10 worst dinosaurs names as selected by About.com - but I've only listed the first 5, you've got to click (to absolutely no advantage of my own) on the link to read them all. For the record, I like monoclonius.

The 10 Worst Dinosaur Names
The Least Impressive Dinosaur Names, from Becklespinax to Uberabatitan
By Bob Strauss
About.com Guide

1. Becklespinax

Life sometimes isn't fair. What's the point of being a 20-foot-long, one-ton carnivore if you're saddled with a name like Becklespinax? Adding insult to injury, "Beckles' spine" (named after the naturalist who discovered it) may have been a close relative of the much cooler Spinosaurus. More about Becklespinax

2. Futalognkosaurus

It sounds like a hot dog--and don't even get us started about that "g" before the "n," which is usually misspelled--but Futalognkosaurus was actually one of the biggest titanosaurs that ever lived, measuring a full 100 feet from head to tail. Too bad about that name, though.

3. Leaellynasaura

It seems unchivalrous to make fun of a dinosaur named after a little girl (the daughter of paleontologist Patricia Vickers-Rich). But nobody outside Australia, and probably very few people in it, know how to pronounce "Leaellynasaura," and even those who do probably have no idea how it's spelled.

4. Monoclonius

As a general rule, it's not a good idea to give a dinosaur a name that sounds like an obscure, fatal disease. Too bad about Monoclonius, because this ceratopsian (horned, frilled dinosaur) could have given Triceratops a run for its money, if only it didn't sound like a low-rated episode of House.

5. Mymoorapelta

Paleontologists often like to name dinosaurs after the geographical locations where they were found, often with unpronounceable results. The early ankylosaur Mymoorapelta references Colorado's Mygatt-Moore quarry; a better tribute might have been a name that people could actually remember.

Click to read more.

This little girl is going to grow up to be an awesome adult!

World's Youngest Art Critic Upset About MoMA's Lack Of Dinosaurs
Gothamist.com
Jen Carlson

Tiny art critic Annabelle stopped by MoMA [Museum of Modern Art, NYC] earlier this year and says that while she did get chance to see a thought-provoking collection that included "a coat closet, trash, and two water fountains," she was ultimately "very disappointed" at the lack of paleontological art. Or as she simply put it: "I did not see a dinosaur."

Click to read more.

For the record, back at the Nobleton Library, I had a book called "Mamenchisaurus" "presented" by me, which probably means my mom made a donation to the library, but I'm not sure. I went back there recently (within the past year) and that book is no longer there. I can only hope that it's in the King circulation, and is just temporarily out at some other library in King Township.

Museum Seeks Smaller Name For Mega Dinosaur
DNAinfo.com
Leslie Albrecht

Canty said the museum is looking for creative name suggestions that "befit the dignity" of the massive Mamenchisaurus, which scientists believe ate about 100,000 calories a day, or about 1,150 pounds of plant matter.

"She's an actual animal that lived 165 million years ago," Canty said. "She's very important and she has a lot of history we want it be a name that fits her."

NOTE": the judging was to be finished on June 7, but I can't find any record of what the winning name was. YOU get bonus points if you can figure it out.

Click to read more.

new Tomb of the Undead update

2011-08-02T20:13:00.003-04:00

The latest update for Tomb of the Undead, called Why, What Happened in There, is now posted for you to look at any time you'd like. Link here.

Hope you like it.

Kyle Kinane

2011-07-31T16:05:00.002-04:00

There are three bits in this stand-up

1. Grabbing life by the balls
2. Believing in God
3. a flyer he found hanging on his screen door

The bit about pizza towards the end had me in tears.

It stormed all night

2011-07-25T06:39:00.002-04:00

... so what are the odds that the power's out at work this morning? We've got the most unreliable building I've ever worked in. The power was out from first thing in the morning until 1 p.m. last time it rained this month. Let's see if the facility goes two for two. (grumble)

Bill Watters' show finally cancelled

2011-07-23T17:52:00.002-04:00

Honestly, this has been the highlight of my drive home over the past two years - and it's a genuine shame that he won't be returning to entertain me. I remember when I first discovered his show - it was during the Leafs Lunch (I think) in the middle of the day.

I was flipping through stations and thought I'd stumbled upon 590's Hockey at Noon, or NHL at Noon, or whatever it's called - with Kypreos and that ass Maclean, or McLean or however he spells it. I wasn't paying much attention, but became aware that the program was FAR better than usual - without two braggardly jocks trying to "out tough" one another over the airwaves.

There's nothing, absolutley nothing, entertaining about listening to Kypreos and Maclean pretend they're macho men, making locker-room jokes to one another, pretending one had a "better" career than the other.

let's face, they're both in broadcasting for a reason.

But Watter's his experience with the Leafs was legendary - and from that moment on, I knew he was something special. He was ugly, but his personality was FAR superior, and attitude was far less "assholish" on the airwaves. He didn't pretend to be buddy-buddy with his guests, and was as respectful as could be - even if he did have an aging sense of what was politically correct to say over the airwaves.

Frankly, I've been listening to CDs in the car lately (I don't get FM stations on my car ride, except for one country station, which doesn't entertain me) so if they're not talking about anything I like on 640, and 590 has switched to tennis, swimming, football, CFL, boxing, or even National League baseball - I'm switching channels.

That's what was great about Watters - he didn't really care for any of those things, he tried his damnedest to find hockey stuff to talk about - whether it was mid-July, mid-August or mid-September.

Bill Watters’s show falls victim to AM 640’s format change
Globe and Mail
BRUCE DOWBIGGIN

One of the worst-kept secrets in sports radio finally came true this week with the cancellation of The Bill Watters Show on AM640 in Toronto. Watters’s three-hour afternoon slot is going to be filed by talk-show host Arlene Bynon, as AM 640 fully adopts the news talk format.

It marks the end of seven years with Watters hosting a sports show on the station. Watters will continue to appear on the station on Leafs Breakfast, after the team’s games and he will also joining the pregame show for the coming season.

“A majority of our listeners have wanted a drive show that is more consistent with the other day-parts - where we have seen substantial growth - and we've heard them,” AM 640 senior program director Gord Harris told Usual Suspects in an e-mail. “The Leafs, however, are still a key part of our programming, and we'll be discussing Leaf-related issues, and breaking Leaf-related stories as they happen on all shows - as warranted.

Watters tells Usual Suspects that he’s naturally disappointed, but “I move on. I’m under employment of Corus Radio till my contract runs out. I understood what my employers were doing. We did best we could. When you’ve done it as long as I had, with no professional training, it becomes a part of you. Part of my success was that I was myself. I have no regrets with that.”

Watters had previously been a major hockey agent and assistant general manager of the Maple Leafs before going to AM 640 when it obtained the radio rights to the team. He hosted the two-hour Leafs Lunch (which peaked as high as 7.5 in the ratings) before taking on his old broadcast partner Bob McCown of Sportsnet Radio The Fan 590 in the highly competitive afternoon drive slot.

While Watters made a few inroads, it was not enough to convince Corus to stay the course for the final year of the contract with the Maple Leafs.

“It’s a juggernaut at the FAN,” says Watters. “And we tried to snip away at Bob’s numbers. Some fans just won’t turn the dial. Turn on FAN you have a rating of at least 3 and then Bob builds on that. Every listener you get has to leave Bob, and he gives no reason to leave him. They have to beat themselves.”

Which begs the question of where the rights will go next if Corus (as expected) decides to get out of the action after this contract. The team did Corus few favours, not getting into the playoffs since the 2004-'05 lockout. But it’s expected that the feud between TSN Radio and The Fan 590 will drive the payments higher. The only question for the Leafs is do they make the sale now or wait until spring and hope that the club is getting a playoff spot? Interesting gamble.

And Jim Ralph was doing an outstanding job as the side-kick, or host, or whatever - right up there with Bill Hayes Sr.

Too bad - looking forward to his pre-game show!..... in October.

Voltron in October

2011-07-23T10:34:00.002-04:00

My wife got this new Sonic the Hedgehog game, and it's kind of awful, and she was having a lot of trouble with the controls - so I asked her what the reviews were on the game before she bought it. Uh oh, she hadn't checked, just trusted that the Sonic creators wouldn't release a bad game on the popular brand ....

in any case, I looked it up and found that the game receive a mediocre 7.0, with especial concern going to the very difficult controls (so a lesson learned there). HOWEVER, I started looking at other games coming out only to discover Voltron: Defender of the Universe is due out in October!

Is this awesome?

More Voltron: The Game Videos

... Doesn't look too awesome. However, I was impresed and pleased to see that the 80s-voice-actor / legend Peter Cullen who has been performing the voice of Optimus Prime for 30 years was also in Voltron, which is cool. (That might be the last cool part about it, though).

When you're the tigers, you're just running around shooting lasers at lots of little badguys that are so small you can't distinguish them from the landscape, and when you're Voltron, it almost looks like a crappy turn-based fighting platform you might find in Final Fantasy II, so not too impressive.

What disappoints me even more, is that it's hardly even an official release. It's available for $10 for download. You're much more likely to find better games with more engaging environments and battles on the Nintendo DS or PSP than you are with this game.

Kind of disappointing.

But while searching for more work of Peter Cullen, I browsed through some Youtube videos and found that a few Voltron videos are up in their entirety.

Check out episode one:

I always liked the theme song. It sounds familiar to a sound bite that AM 640 uses (or maybe it's 680?).

Bautista makes The Onion

2011-07-18T19:57:00.003-04:00

Mostly funny - except the steroids gag at the end. A baseball joke about steroids is like a hockey joke about not having your own teeth. It's become too cliche to be funny anymore.

Cowboys and Aliens seems cool

2011-07-17T21:19:00.003-04:00

When I first saw the preview for Cowboys and Aliens, and saw what Daniel Craig did to make himself fit the new role - going from a stalwart physique as James Bond to a significantly more emaciated physique for the western role, I was really shocked.

He shrank the size of his neck, somehow, to look the part, which is astonishing. (Christian Bale famously switches body-types for roles in his films, too - to some characteristic flaws, if you ask me, but he's dedicated, no doubt.)

And Sam Rockwell always creates a totally new character for each of his roles, which should go without saying, but Rockwell in particular shows yo a character in his roles that's genuinely fresh and full of depth. It's fun to see what he does with a role.

He should be great in Cowboys and Aliens, too!

But ... this brings me to Harrison Ford. Now, I really like his Han Solo, and I really like his Indiana Jones. He's a fine actor, but ... frankly Jones and Solo aren't really all that different. One wears a hat, the other drives the Millennium Falcon. They're very much the same character - and honestly, beyond simply growing older, Ford hasn't changed his look for any of his roles.

(he kinda looks like a young Chevy Chase in this one)

I know God only gave him one face - but a little range would be nice. Seems like changing roles is basically like changing his hat. One hat for Indy, cowboy hat means he's a cowboy today, and no hat means he's a doctor (Dr. Richard Kimble) or a space pilot.

It's like the band Everclear. Their singles pretty much sound the same, or distinctly similar. Lucky for them, it also sounds good. Harrison Ford is in a similar role in many of his films - which has been advantageous, because he played Han Solo three times in the 70s, and then Indiana Jones spanned through three decades in the same role.

After seeing what Daniel Craig and Sam Rockwell have done in their past, without half as much fanfare as Ford, it'd nice to see Harrison do something totally different. Look at what Robert Deniro has done with himself!

Then again, I'm not certain Harrison Ford has much of a sense of humour (and a difficult interview).

Maddox's new book

2011-07-16T09:41:00.002-04:00

I wasn't really aware that Maddox was publishing a new book, but it would appear that he's completed the manuscript, and it's going to be big.

As the first time I heard the concept for the Alphabet of Manliness, I'm not entirely sure if it's going to be any good - but after reading the Alphabet of Manliness, and laughing all the way through it, of course I'll be open to the subject.

Looking forward to November 2011 for: I Am Better Than Your Kids.

Maddox told me:

This is a stack of some of the artwork, drafts, and versions that went into making this book. It's so awesome it makes my balls ache. I graded about 600 pieces of artwork, journal entries, worksheets, shitty poetry (though that's redundant), math, failed science and even a few pictures of kids. I could literally crush a child with this book. Also, for the first time in the history of Earth, I've included my own drawings to be graded. Now you can judge me judging myself. Spoiler: it will give your mind a boner.

Has 2011 been odd to anyone else?

2011-07-13T23:47:00.003-04:00

I can remember back to grade whatever (I think it was Grade 2 or 4) but I remember writing the date on the top of my papers. Mille-neuf-cent, quatre-vent dix-huit, which is French for 1998, I'm certain of it. (French counts in some archaic way where four-20s and 18 means 98 instead of just saying "88" like a g--damned human being - thanks French folks)

In any case ... it's in '98 that I became cognizant of what year it was, which was never tremendously important at any point, and really isn't that important today. I still recall things from my past in relation to what grade I was in at school, of what year I was in at University. As we move forward after going through the education process, it'll be interesting to see what the yardsticks are in the future.

Putting that aside - I guess what I'm getting at is, every time the calendar turned over in January and we entered a new year, it was like we were entering into the future. For two months I'd still write "2008" when it was already "2009" and think to myself, "Wow, I can't believe it's 2009 already."

I don't know if other people go through this or not - but it always happened to me. I was always caught thinking that the year I was in was so current and ahead of its time that it was hard to keep up. I seemed to be always trying to keep up with the times, and was astonished with the decade, century and year we were in at that moment, only getting comfortable with it in time for the year to change again.

But 2011 has been something of an anomaly for me, and I have no idea why. Frankly, 2011 seems passe, out of date, and out of touch. Hell, it should still be 2010, if you ask me, there's been nothing significant or interesting, nothing progressive or important, nothing fresh or exciting about 2011 like there has been in years before.

I almost feels like it's been 2012 for six months, and 2011 is way behind us.

... I don't even know what I'm trying to say, but this year seems to be lacking in the things that made the years before exciting and vibrant. 2011 has been like watching "Back to the Future" and realizing that we don't have hover boards, or like watching "The Jetsons" knowing we'll never have space cars that fold into suitcases.

Through all our history we were raised believing there was an unlimited potential to the future, and in the past two-to-five years we've been dealing and negotiating the consequences of that mentality with over population, pollution and "the tipping point" that we've "theoretically" already past.

2011 just hasn't had a personality of its own, it hasn't had any promise, and it feels like its behind the times and out of date before it's even half over.

or maybe I'm completely nuts. I mean, what does it really matter in the grand scheme of things what year it is? And perhaps that's the oddest part of it all - up until 2011, the year we were living in felt exciting and progressive, while 2011 already feels dull, like it doesn't hold any significance, like it doesn't matter.

When I write the date, I'd almost prefer to be mistakenly be scrawling 1998 all over again - I don't even know how to say 2011 in French. Deux-mille cent, onze?

Am I nuts?

and I would totally call it "Cao Cao, the Chow Chow," for the record.

hobby updates have been scarce

2011-07-10T20:01:00.002-04:00

Hobby updates have been scarce lately, and it's definitely because we've had great weather and more weekends with weddings and travelling than during the fall and winter months. But all of that aside - I think I've got a new schedule I'd like to try and might make things run a bit more smoothly and hopefully lead to more updates more often.

That's certainly what I'd like, any how.

So here's to an evening of more drawing - I've drafted an entire new scene for Tomb of the Undead, and I'm looking forward to getting it up page by page. Hope you're looking forward to it.

New draft picks - what to expect

2011-07-09T09:05:00.004-04:00

Hockey's Future, where I find most of my information on prospects, doesn't have much information about the players the Leafs drafted this year, delaying any post on that front - BUT that doesn't mean I can't look elsewhere.

Sources: hdb (www.hockeydb.com), hf (www.hockeysfuture.com)

Tyler Biggs (RW)
Born April 30, 1993 (93?!) in Cincinnati, OH (he's going to college at Miami, OH)
Height 6'02" - - 200 lbs (according to Hockeydb) 210 lbs. (by Hockey's Future)
Selected 22nd overall in 2011.
Prospect Grade: __?
Notes: Leafs traded up to get him, giving the 30th and 29th picks to Anaheim for the pick. Anaheim drafted RW Rickard Raekell (6', 199 lbs OHLer ) and John Gibson (Swedish goalie 6'3" 206 lbs from the USHL).

Ontario Junior Hockey League career (2008): 3 gms, 2 pim (Hdb)

Biggs played for the Toronto Jr. Canadiens, playing in 72 games for that team. He scored 40 goals and added 46 assists for 86 points. Biggs was chosen in the second round of the 2009 OHL Priority selection by the Oshawa Generals (HF)

2009-10 U.S. National Development Team, USHL: 24 gp, 6 g, 5 a, 11 pts 54 pim (HDB)

Played in 24 games for the U.S. NTDP squad that competed in the USHL, scoring 6 goals and adding 5 assists for 11 points. Played 40 games for the US. National U-17 team where he netted 15 goals and added 8 assists for 23 points, and also suited up for the U-18 squad for 13 games, picking up 1 goal and 1 assist for that team. Played for the gold medalist U.S. team at the World U-17 Hockey Challenge, scoring 5 goals and chipping in 1 assist for 6 points in 6 games. Also represented the U.S. at the 2010 U-18 World Junior Championship, where he was scoreless in 7 games. (HF)

2010-11 U.S. National Development Team, USHL: 20 gp, 7 g, 4 a, 11 pts, 41 pim (HDB)

Playing for the U.S. squad at the 2011 U-18 WJC in Germany. Will play for Miami University starting in the fall of 2011 (HF).

Stuart Percy (D)
Born May 18, 1993 in Oakville, ON
Height 6'01" - - 175 lbs (HDB) but 186 lbs (by HF)
Selected 25th overall in 2011.
Selected 15th overall in the 2009 OHL Priority Selection by Mississauga
Prospect Grade: __?

2008-09 (HF) Toronto Marlboros in the GTHL

2008-09: Percy played for the Toronto Marlboros in the GTHL. He was chosen in the first round, 15th overall, of the 2009 OHL Priority Selection by the Mississauga St. Michael's Majors. (HF)

2009-10 Mississauga St. Mike's Majors (OHL) 52 gp, 3 g, 15 a, 18 pts, 40 pim (HDB)

Percy registered 1 assist in 16 playoff games. Percy played for Team Ontario at the 2010 World U-17 Hockey Challenge, picking up 3 assists in 6 games for the silver medal squad. (HF)

2010-11 Mississauga St. Mike's Majors (OHL) 64 gp, 4 g, 29 a, 33 pts, 50 pim (HDB)

In 20 playoff games, he scored 2 goals and added 10 assists for 12 points. Percy registered 4 assists in 5 Memorial Cup Tournament games for the Majors. Percy played for Team Orr at the 2011 CHL Home Hardware Top Prospects Game. (HF)

Josh Leivo (LW)

Born May 26, 1993 in Innisfil, ON
Height 6'02" - - 180 lbs (HDB) but 188 lbs (by www.tmlfans.ca)
Selected 86th overall in 2011.
Selected 11th round (yikes) in the 2009 OHL Priority Selection by Sudbury
Prospect Grade: __?

2009-10? Barrie Minor Midgets, 30 goals (www.sudburywolves.com)

2010-11 Sudbury Wolves (OHL) 64 gp, 13 g, 17 a, 30 pts, 37 pim

Anyone who wasn't sleeping during the second half of the 2010-11 OHL season knows Sudbury Wolves forward Josh Leivo has become a sleeper for the upcoming NHL Entry Draft.

[H]is coming-out party was during the post-season, when, playing on the first line with centre Michael Sgarbossa and right-winger Andrey Kuchin, he scored six goals and assisted on seven others, (helping) the Pack upset the favoured Ottawa 67's in the first round.

Leivo wasn't listed by NHL Central Scouting on its final rankings, released in April, but it's clear the 6-foot-2, 188- pound forward is on the radar of several big-league clubs ahead of the seven-round draft, which runs today and Saturday in St. Paul, Minn. (www.tmlfans.ca)

Tom Nilsson (D)

Born in Sweden
Height 6', 176 lbs.
Selected 100th overall in 2011.
Prospect Grade: __?

2010-11 Mora J20 squad, 37 gp, 2 g, 6 a, 8 pts

Swedish defenceman Tom Nilsson saw his stock rise dramatically in the second half of the 2010-2011 season. Playing primarily for Mora’s J20 team in Sweden, Nilsson saw some time with both Mora’s J18 team and their Mens’ team.

Nilsson represented Sweden at this year’s IIHF U-18 tournament, winning a silver medal for his efforts (www.stevedangle.com)

Tony Cameranesi (C)

Born August 12, 1993 in Maple Grove, Minnesota
Height 5'09", 162 lbs.
Selected 130th overall in 2011.
Prospect Grade: __?

Minnesota High School League 25 gp, 15 g, 54 pts.

Minnesota-native Tony Cameranesi is known specifically for one facet of his game: his skating, (possessing) explosive speed and solid offensive instincts.

Playing for Wayzata (added) nine ... points in three playoff games. Cameranesi has committed to the University of Minnesota Duluth, but will play this upcoming season for Waterloo of the USHL before making the jump to college. (www.stevedangle.com)

David Broll (LW)

Born January 4, 1993 in Mississauga, ON
Height 6'01", 220 lbs. (HDB) but 225 lbs (by www.stevedangle.com)
Selected 152nd overall in 2011.
Prospect Grade: __?
Notes: Broll is said to be best friends with former Otters teammate, and another Leafs prospect, Greg McKegg (www.stevedangle.com)

2009-10 Erie Otters (OHL) 64 gp, 9 g, 9 a, 18 pts, 42 pim

2010-11 Sault St. Marie Greyhounds (OHL) 65 gp, 13 g, 21 a, 34 pts

No one will ever wonder why David Broll is often referred to as “the Brolldozer.” The 6’1, 225lb winger plays a physical game, and likely feels right at home when he is banging bodies in the corners.

Broll was sent along with a handfull of draft picks to the Soo in exchange for the Greyhounds’ leading scorer Brett Thompson at the OHL’s Trade Deadline.

Dennis Robertson (D)

Born May 24, 1991 in Fort St. John, BC
Height 6', 195 lbs. (HDB) but 225 lbs (by www.stevedangle.com)
Selected 173rd overall in 2011.
Prospect Grade: __?
Notes: A ’91-born, Dennis Robertson just finished his freshman year with the Brown Bears of the ECAC (NCAA Division I) (www.stevedangle.com)

2008-09 Langley Chiefs (BCHL) 55 gp, 1 g, 11 a, 12 pts, 65 pim

2009-10 Langley Chiefs (BCHL) 53 gp, 9 g, 25 a, 34 pts, 83 pim

2010-11 Brown University (ECAC) 30 gp, 6 g, 11 a, 17 pts, 48 pim

While he just turned 20, Robertson will most likely continue developing his game at Brown before making any jump to professional hockey.

Garret Sparks (G)

Born June 28, 1993 in Elmhurst, IL
Height 6'02", 204 lbs. (HDB)
Selected 190th overall in 2011.
Prospect Grade: __?
Notes: In response to being drafted, Sparks tweeted “Dear Maple Leafs, Thanks for turning my mom into a crying mess. And waking me up from my nap. But seriously, I don’t mind. #bestdayever.” After the Leafs drafted him, Sparks’ Twitter account (@GSparks40) exploded from less than 100 followers to over 1,000 in a matter of hours (www.stevedangle.com)

2010-11 Guelph Storm (OHL) 19 gp, 59 ga, 3.64 gaa, 8 w, 6 l, 1 t, .890 sp

Garret Sparks started the season battling for Guelph’s backup goaltending position with Matej Machovsky behind veteran starter Brandon Foote. Sparks became Guelph’s goaltender of the future when Machovsky was traded to Brampton in December.

Next season, expect Sparks to inherit the No. 1 goaltender’s job in Guelph.

Max Everson (D)

Born February 22, 1993 in Edina, Minnesota
Height 6'01", 184 lbs. (HDB) but 190 lbs (by www.stevedangle.com)
Selected 203rd overall in 2011.
Prospect Grade: __?
Notes: was the captain of his hockey team in Edina. Committed to Harvard University to play for the Crimson.

2010-11 US National Development Team USHL 5 gp, 1 g, 1 a, 2 pts, 2 pim

2010-11 22 gp, 21 pts,

Max Everson lead all Edina defencemen in scoring this season, coming in just shy of a point-per-game pace with 21 points in 22 games. Everson plays a positionally sound and effective game.

It's Friday night, it's 1 a.m., it's CHCH tv

2011-07-09T01:04:00.002-04:00

Alrighty, Frank D'Angelo - I'm willing to give your show a bit of a chance - I wonder, what on earth would make you think that you should have your own television show. The only airtime you ever received was when you paid for it for apple juice commercials and after that, commercials for energy drinks.

I have to admit, when I saw that you were selling a CD to raise funds for ... was it Katrina, or Haiti? I can't remember - but it was really awkward. It's like, ... you basically pay to put yourself on TV.

WAIT - your show is on now!

Looks like his show is hosted at Copps Coliseum, or in Hamilton, at least.

Wait - he's in the MMA ring? They don't show how that turns out.

He brought Luca Caputi onto the show, looking for some "Star Power" from the Leafs for his own means, and then treats him like his television persona isn't good enough for his show - not cool, if you ask me. Not everybody can be "Frank D'Angelo," buddy.

In some shots while he's interviewing people, he's got the Cheetah Power Surge promotional advertising in the background. It's so obvious that it's embarrassing.

.... after quite a bit of the show, it seems a whopping amount of it is MMA wrestling, with cutaway shots of Frank "liking it." So Frank's basically trying to use the fame and popularity of MMA to make his show popular - I don' t think it's going to work.

Perhaps if he can make some sketches with hilarious characters in them?

WAIT - after the commercial break, he's cooking spinach rapini? Wait! that was a commercial for D'Angelo brand rapini, "look for it in your super market."

This show is terrible. It's like an Avril Lavigne video, except instead of a blonde (if she's actually blonde) sellout, it's a 50-year-old dummy who wishes he was a popular celebrity.

Awkward.

More MMA - with Frank watching. What a great show!

Then he gets in the ring with one of the fighters and they show him throwing a few punches - and they don't show the guy thumping him pretty regularly - and then the show's over, and a voice over names all of Frank's products.

Who does he think he is? Paul Newman?

Leafs Depth Chart - how's it look now?

2011-07-08T06:56:00.003-04:00

(updated: July 9)
This has taken a couple parts of a couple days to put together - so here goes nothing:

Goalies 2010/11--- Goalies 2011/12 --- Departures
J-S Giguere ------- James Reimer ------Giguere
Jonas Gustavsson --Jonas Gustavsson
Jussi Rynnas -------Jussi Rynnas

Centres 2010/11 ------------ Centres 2011/12 ----------Departures
Mikhail Grabovski -----------Tim Connolly ---------- ---Tim Brent
Nazem Kadri ----------------Mikhail Grabovski ---------(Christian Hanson) probably
Tyler Bozak -----------------Matthew Lombardi
Darrel Boyce ----------------Tyler Bozak

Left Wing 2010/11 ---------- Left Wing 2011/12 -------- Departures
Clarke MacArthur ----------- Clarke MacArthur ---------Kris Versteeg
Nikolai Kulemin --------------Nikolai Kulemin
Joffrey Lupul ---------------- Joffrey Lupul
Mike Brown ------------------Mike Brown

Right Wing 2010/11 ------ Left Wing 2011/12 ----------Departures
Phil Kessel ----------------Phil Kessel ------------------(Fredrik Sjostrom) probably
Colby Armstrong ----------Colby Armstrong
Joey Crabb ----------------Joey Crabb
Colton Orr -----------------Colton Orr

Defense 2010/11 -----------Defense 2011/12 --------Departures
Dion Phaneuf --------------Dion Phaneuf ------------Tomas Kaberle
Luke Schenn --------------Luke Schenn -------------Francois Beauchemin
Mike Komisarek ----------John-Michael Liles -------Brett Lebda
Brett Lebda ---------------Keith Aulie
Carl Gunnarsson ----------Carl Gunnarsson
Matt Lashoff --------------Cody Franson

Toronto Marlies

Defense
Jake Gardiner (44 pts U of Wisconsin / AHL)
Simon Gysbers (31 pts AHL)
Matt Lashoff (29 pts AHL/NHL)
Danny Richmond (23 pts AHL) JUST SIGNED BY THE CAPITALS - SO HE'S GONE
Josh Engel (20 pts AHL / ECHL)
Jeff Finger (15 pts NHL/AHL)
Korbinian Holzer (13 pts AHL/NHL)
Mike Brennan (10 pts AHL)
Mike Komisarek (10 pts NHL)
Juraj Mikus (16 pts AHL)

Right Wing
Tyler Brenner (47 pts AHA / AHL)
Greg Scott (30 pts AHL)
Aaron Voros (109 PIM AHL/ NHL)
Richard Greenop (6 pts ECHL/AHL)

Centre
Philippe Dupuis (17 pts NHL)
Greg McKegg (93 pts OHL/AHL)
Mike Zigomanis (48 pts AHL/OHL)
Joe Colborne (43 pts AHL/NHL)
Alex Foster (34 pts AHL)
Christian Hanson (34 pts AHL/OHL)
Justin Hodgman (30 pts AHL/ECHL)
Andrew Cresenzi (24 pts OHL /AHL)
Brayden Irwin (15 pts AHL)

Left Wing
Jerry D'Amigo (43 pts AHL /OHL)
Fabian Brunnstrom (35 pts AHL)
Marcel Mueller (33 pts AHL/NHL)
Ryan Hamilton (28 pts AHL)
Will Acton (24 pts CCHA/AHL/ECHL)
Jeff Cowan (16 pts AHL)
Luca Caputi (5 pts AHL/NHL)

Goalies
Ben Scrivens (2.23 AHL/ECHL)
Jussi Rynnas (2.71 GAA AHL)

Minor Leaguers

Defense
Stuart Percy (OHL - 33 pts)
Jess Blacker (Windsor/Owen Sound - 30 points)
Andrew MacWilliam (WCHA - 8 pts)
Petter Granberg (SEL - 1 pt)
Eric Knodel (can't find any 2010 stats?)

Left Wing
Brad Ross (Winterhawks - 68 points)
Jerry D'Amigo (Kitchener/Marlies - 43 points)
Jamie Devane (OHL 38 pts /131 PIM)
Leo Komarov (KHL - 26 pts)
Daniel Brodin (Swedish Elite League - 13 pts)

Right Wing
Josh Nicholls (WHL - 87 pts)
Matt Frattin (U of North Dakota/NHL - 60 pts)
Kenny Ryan (OHL - 60 pts)
Tyler Biggs (USHL - 41 pts)
Dale Mitchell (AHL/ECHL -17 pts)
Ben Winnett (CCHA - 12 pts)
Richard Greenop (ECHL / AHL - 6 pts)
Sondre Olden (SEL - 3 pts)

Centre
Sam Carrick (Brampton - 39 pts)

Goal
Mark Owuya (SEL/Swe 1 - 2.18 GAA)
Grant Rollheiser (Boston University - 3.98 GAA)

excited for new Leafs!

2011-07-03T22:30:00.002-04:00

Not sure how this quite fixes into the overall scheme of things, but so far, this is how it looks:

Goal:
Giguere - gone, but Reimer resigned (with Gustavsson still available - and Scrivens resigned)
With youth in position in goal, it should be interesting to see how they fair, and also what they do when the team hits a dip. Everyone seems to trust the excellence of Reimer, who could be the next Kirk Cameron of Christianity in Toronto. Think about it.

In any case - Reimer will be more consistent than Giguere because he'll be more healthy, and Gustavsson will be on a short leash with Scrivens as understudy. Should be exciting to witness.

Centre:
Tim Brent - gone, but they sign free agent Tim Connolly, which is an upgrade, for sure. Yet, in a different trade package, the Leafs also brought in Matthew Lombardi to fulfill some duties at centre ice as well! Two new centres will help ease the transition to fulltime major league status for Nazem Kadri and Joe Colborne.

Taking pressure off young talent is tremendously important - and adding two pro centres who can fill the first and second/third spots (Tyler Bozak will take the third/second spot - and the penalty kill) sounds good to me.

Defense:
Brett Ledba is traded away to Nashville - but John Michael Liles is acquired for a second round pick- major upgrade! (Even the Denver Post dislikes the trade, which means Toronto really got the best out of this deal.)

But that's not all, the defense also brings in Cody Franson is 6'5, 213 lbs. He's got great upside, and working behind Schenn, Gunarsson, Aulie and Phaneuf, he'll have plenty of time to craft his skills - all the while Mike Komisarek feels shame for being the Garnet Exelby/Jeff Finger of the Maple Leafs for the 2011/12 season.

Outgoing: a second round and fourth round picks in the 2012 draft, AND Robert Slaney. Who the hell is he?

With these signings and trades, the Leafs have made excellent upgrades already. Not bad, and in fact, very cool. Will this make them contenders? No - but it does improve their defense, centre and goal positions, which is GREAT.

Winnipeg is like Kazhakstan: Antropov

2011-07-01T17:36:00.005-04:00

It's my second annual Canada Day in Port Perry, and I was excited once again to see Mr. Nik Antropov stomping around in the fish tournament.

Last year he was unshaven and wearing a grey Atlanta Thrashers hoodie, but not this year. The announcer there asked him what his thoughts were on moving from hot Atlanta to a colder climate in Winnipeg.

Antropov answered that his hometown (in Kazakhstan) has a very similar climate, so he'll feel at home there. Frankly, Winnipeg has now been compared to Kazakhstan, so take that Winnipeg! Suckas.

Nik didn't have his false teeth in while fishing his year, so he had quite the field goal between his lips.

This is literally Alexei Ponikarovski agreeing to a $1.5 million contract with the Carolina Hurricanes. I have a photo of him becoming a millionaire all over again, which is pretty cool. The deal was reported on Sportnet.ca at 4:26 p.m., and we saw him around 3:45ish, so there's a very good chance this is what he's doing on the phone here.

It just goes to show, you can be in the Afghanistan or Port Perry and still get a deal done, which is good to know. Tim Brent was supposed to be there, and Justin Peters was there, too - meaning that Peters would have been the first to congratulate his new teammates on their contracts. Except I didn't see Brent, but that doesn't matter.

Here's James Neal, who was traded to Pittsburgh from Dallas for Goligoski at the deadline. The announcer kept asking these hockey players which they like better: fishing or hockey. Why on earth would a pro-NHLer find fishing so much better than playing hockey?

And there was an obvious distinction between the physique required of a professional hockey player vs. that of a pro fisherman.

Happy Canada Day

2011-07-01T09:45:00.001-04:00

If that doesn't work, go to this link: http://youtu.be/g_RPp4dbam8

Maple Leafs in Port Perry

2011-06-30T18:22:00.003-04:00

I'm not entirely sure what all the details are - but the annual fishing tournament hosted on Lake Scugog is on again tomorrow, and as I understand it, some Maple Leafs (and former Maple Leafs) will be there.

Therefor, I will be there, too - and I will try and take pictures, on the condition that nothing I have breaks or has the check engine light come on and give me shit about the $500 knock sensors and expensive wiring to the engine harness.

...grumble...

New Tomb of the Undead update: Stretch my legs

2011-06-27T06:31:00.002-04:00

I wrapped up the latest scene and posted the final page on the weekend. You can find the link here. When I talked earlier about it getting ready to pick up and really get going, this was the scene I had in mind. I've sketched out a few pages of the next scene to figure out what I'm going to do there - but nothing's finalized yet.

Dr. Casey Miller and Evelyn rent a car and head out to intercept Dr. Howard Bolam from meeting with the mysterious archaeologist Ian Escutcheon who sent them the relic of Lazarus in Stretch my legs.

Here are some production updates from earlier you could check out, too:

more coming
Working for Clues, and writing a grpahic novel (yeah, I can't spell)
Powers Supergroup on tv, Tits & clits in the news and Batman funding a graphic novel
Super Dinosaur moves down the Corridor to the Popularity Papers
Popularity Papers, zombie-comedies in India, and advice on writing solo

Hope you like it

not finished, but desperate for an update

2011-06-24T06:47:00.001-04:00

I have two new pages up for the latest scene for Tomb of the Undead.

I have had a lot of difficulty making time to work on the comic - but I was glad to be able to get some done last night.

Hope you like 'em.

Click here.

Who will be the new Leafs?

2011-06-20T21:55:00.002-04:00

Looking forward to the next exciting part of the NHL season, (during the off-season) when we get to see which players the GMs will select in the entry draft.

This year is especially interesting because we'll find out if Burke will make a move to move up in the draft, which he says he'd like to do, but we'll see if he's able to do it. If he wants in the top 5 of the draft, he'd have to move picks. Realistically, for picks or prospects, I don't think anyone in the Top 5 are really interested in trading any players.

(though it's being reported that Ryan Smyth wants to be traded back to Edmonton - would Edmonton give up the first overall pick to have Smyth back? ???)

The NHL has a neat post about the top players drafted in each position in the first round, which is certainly worth a skim.

But it exposes quite the conundrum for the Maple Leafs, and here's why. The Leafs have the 25th and 30th overall selections. The best choice that was ever made at the 25th spot was .... Mark Howe. Brendan Morrow is the runner up, with Greg Nemisz (whom I've personally interviewed when he drafted as a youngster before joining the Spitfires).

At 30th overall the greatest player ever drafted was ... Randy Carlyle, followed by runner-up Patrice Brisebois.

Yikes. The odds of a great draft choice is pretty low, which is greatly unfortunate.

For the record, today - the Maple Leafs fired the greatest nose in hockey, and Keith Acton, which ... is probably overdue. If the head coach isn't getting canned, it's likely that somebody should be fired after three consecutive awful (though hopeful) seasons.

Important anniversaries

2011-06-11T09:13:00.003-04:00

As my wife and I are in Windsor to witness the marriage of a couple friends - it reminds me also that today is a very important anniversary.

On June 11, 1993 (18 years ago) one of the most important films of its generation was release.

Jurassic Park was the modern day Star Wars, changing how special effects were done, and the lengths by which a film would go to make what occured on the screen as believable as possible.

Plus, it reinvigorated interest and enthusiasm in dinosaurs for a long while. Two years after the movie's release, the popularity of the film and its villains (the Veliciraptors) the newest NBA team at the time, in Toronto, named their franchise in the film's honour.

You can tell that it wasn't Toronto's love of the species, Velociraptor, but they specifically used Jurassic Park's nic-name for the animal, to many creationists' displeasure. (Also see: Wizards)

So here's to Jurassic Park. My anniversary with Jurassic Park is June 13 when Jesse Moriarty (not sure what name he's using these days) saw it with my dad. I remember being so scared by the beginning when the technicians were mauled by a raptor and Muldoon ordered everyone to "shoot heeerr." Very cool.

My dad snored through the movie.

It was still cool.

(I'm disappointed Google hasn't made a special name-plate for Jurassic Park today)

Porch x 2

2011-06-05T12:38:00.002-04:00

The forecast said rainy periods throughout Sunday - so when I saw the sun coming up this morning, I got out first thing and started reading on the porch to be opportunistic about the weather. Turns out it's well past 12:30 and it's still awesome out! This is awesome.

I've got sunscreen on and the laptop rigged to be outside and I'm loving it. I don't always get a sunny day on the weekend, I don't always get to enjoy sunny days when they are on the weekend, and I wasn't even expecting good weather today to begin with.

A true surprise, and a welcomed one.

My only hope is everyone's had a chance to enjoy it, too.

Just a little escape

2011-06-04T20:35:00.003-04:00

I've finally finished the latest scene for Tomb of the Undead

Check it out - there's a new scene for the Tomb of the Undead, Just a little escape , for you to check out. Six pages long, which was partly why it took so long to complete - but admittedly, I haven't been spending as much time on it lately.

Evelyn and Dr. Miller disembark their flight to face whatever consequences Dr. Starkwood has put in place for them in Just a little escape. Other posts you might be interested in about graphic novels:

Hope you like it.

baseball

2011-06-02T20:19:00.003-04:00

It's cool being back into ball season. My only issue's been I've had a really inconvenient sore muscle that acts up whenever I run - which is only when I'm playing baseball. It's really sore, like a bad muscular rip on the top of left leg. I don't know exactly what muscle it is, but it really sucks.

yesterday was no exception, it felt really sore after my first at bat, which is too bad. Incidentally, it was a triple, which was cool. That was two consecutive triples in a row, after a lead-off triple in the game before.

so far we've got two wins and one loss, all close games, which is great, considering rumour has it the ball club got thumped every game last year. My wife and i are making a big difference on the team, I think. The league is totally different from leagues we've played in before, but that's ok, too.

I'm still getting used to the batting, the pitching and the way the ball moves around ( I think it's a really soft core ball, it dips after you hit it, losing velocity faster than my dad loses his pants after a long day at work).

It's good to be playing again, and if last week is any indication, it looks like our offense is picking up. A few players seemed to be missing their pitches and having trouble getting around on the ball, but last night the bats came alive a bit more, which is great.

Here's hoping for a great long season!

Workin' from the porch

2011-05-31T18:01:00.002-04:00

My job has a lot of advantages - I was slaving away at my desk, meaning I was having a particularly productive time, when I realized I had almost everything I needed done for the day, except for the finishing step of actually writing all my notes into stories.

I also had the luxury of knowing what my obligations for the next day were going to be - so I set up tomorrow's interviews, and got two interviews for tomorrow done in my notes - then I packed up my notes for today's stories and my recorder, and went home.

I've been typing away in the shade on my porch in what is a beautiful, mild, breezy day (right beside my personal coffee maker, so I can have some fresh brew any time). The day's duties were basically complete, and I have the great fortune of being flexible in where my work is actually completed.

This is really nice ... and I totally got to drive home in off-peak hours for traffic (not that there's a lot of traffic out here anyhow).

Very nice, all in all, way to wrap up May. Thanks for all the rain, but I'm quite happy now to have the fine summer weather with us.

Wondered the truth about Roswell?

2011-05-30T21:18:00.002-04:00

This article explains everything. It was posted a few weeks ago, but it's still cool today.

Roswell crash Stalin plot to create mass panic
Lesley Ciarula Taylor Staff Reporter

The UFO crash at Roswell was actually Josef Stalin’s “War of the Worlds” stab at mass panic using German flying “discs” carrying deformed children aviators engineered by Nazi mad doctor Josef Mengele, a new book contends.

And that, writes U.S. investigative journalist Annie Jacobsen in her meticulously researched and carefully documented history, is why officially non-existent Area 51 is still top secret.

“I felt it was important to report that,” Jacobsen told the Star on Wednesday, the day after publication of her book Area 51: An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base.

What her source told her, she believes, “was just the tip of the iceberg.” The U.S. would go on to conduct equally gruesome military medical experiments, he said.

A contributing editor to the Los Angeles Times Magazine, Jacobsen devotes a quarter of the book to her notes and resources.

The book draws on 74 sources, 32 of whom lived and worked at the base from the 1950s, when it was a cauldron of Cold War technology and engineering. But her disclosures about the notorious Roswell Incident rely on one source, a former engineer with EG&G, the most powerful defence contractor in the United States.

“I trust the veracity of that source completely.”

In a deal with Stalin after World War II, Dr. Josef Mengele plied his Auschwitz-honed black medical arts to turn 13-year-olds into alien-looking aviators who would pilot a version of the German Horten brothers’ boomerang-shaped craft into U.S. airspace, the engineer told Jacobsen.

The idea was to replicate the national hysteria sown by an Orson Welles radio broadcast of a purported Martian invasion, War of the Worlds.

Stalin reneged on the deal and Mengele escaped from Germany to Buenos Aires in 1949. The craft crashed in New Mexico in 1947. Four years later — hence the name Area (19)51 — the debris arrived in a desolate Nevada testing area for reverse engineering: Take it apart and put it back together to see how it works.

That testing area also gave birth to the first test flights of the U2, a spectacular high-flying spy plane that spawned many of the UFO sightings, engineers and pilots told Jacobsen.

Former U2 pilot Hervey Stockman described his nerve-wracking stealth flight over 400,000 square miles of the Soviet Union in 1956, which brought back vital information that the Soviets were neither preparing for nor capable of World War III.

Millions of pages of classified documents remain secret and need to be revealed, said Jacobsen. But her years of research have convinced her much secrecy at the time was necessary.

“Absolutely. There were amazing Cold War projects that went on at Area 51. They kept us out of a war with the Soviets. The times were really tense.”

How did she get so many Cold Warriors who’ve kept secrets for decades to talk?

“A lot of the documents are actually declassified now,” she said. Project 57, the explosion of a dirty bomb at Area 51 that security guard Richard Mingus actually drove through and lived, is one of them.

In 2007, the CIA began declassifying the A-12 Oxcart program, another secret aircraft often mistaken for a UFO.

The idea for Jacobsen’s book started with a chance encounter with Edward Lovick, the now 92-year-old “Radar Man” recruited to Area 51 to develop stealth technology by the legendary Skunk Works engineer Kelly Johnson. She would also meet Mingus by accident, in an archive.

Chipmunk funeral

2011-05-29T22:21:00.002-04:00

My wife went out to tend on her garden this afternoon, and came in distraught - she found a dead chipmunk hanging from the mesh she's covered her garden in to protect it from critters. I told her to pick it up and throw it out, but she didn't want to touch it, didn't want to handle it wearing gloves, and didn't want her trowel to touch a dead chipmunk, and then be used on the garden.

Insert husband to deal with it. So I head out there with a paper bag and find the little guy hanging off the ground head first from the mesh, motionless. It was sad. I thought I might be able to just pull it out of the mesh, but of course, if it were loose enough to just drop out, the damned thing would have got away while he was still alive, right?

So the thing's really stuck. And I'm not sure if I thought I saw it move because it was dangling, or because it actually moved, but I got this sneaky feeling that the chipmunk was still alive.

So I sent the wife for a pair of scissors to cut it out of the mesh. The chipmunk isn't really moving, but I can tell that one of the eyes that was shut before, was now open. There was reason to believe that it might not be entirely lifeless.

I cut a hunk of scrap from the mesh and carried the chipmunk to somewhere easier to move- and you could see how very tangled the thing was. It was really in there, probably choking to death. It wasn't struggling, biting or anything, it was just waiting to die.

So I got to cutting away most of the mesh - and wifey's like: I don't think it's going to live very long even if you get it out. I think she was getting at: If it bites you, you could get really sick. Which might have been true, but it wasn't really struggling, and wasn't really showing any signs of panic or fear. Also I wasn't just going to leave it tangled up, toss it in the paper bag and throw it out. I might not nurse the thing back to health, but I fully planned set it as free as I could.

I went back in to get some more acute tools to try and get at the mesh around the chipmunk's neck. I didn't want to harm it any more than it had been hurt by twisting scissors around his face. While I was up, my wife took a turn at it, and by the time I'd gotten back, the lifeless chipmunk that was resigned to die, leaped away from her and scurried off. Jumping Jack Flash. Just like that.

I was impressed, and relieved honestly, that it seemed so spunky. Not much later, the chipmunk was scurrying around our porch, running by the window, eating the keys that had fallen from the tree.

You see wild animals all the time, but not often can you tell with confidence that you're seeing one that's absolutely thrilled to still be alive. But you could tell it was cheerful - or at least I think it looked cheerful, anyway. I'm sure we'll see him again, I just hope we don't come across more trapped animals clinging to life in my wife's deathtrap garden.

2011-05-27T06:35:00.004-04:00

I love the bit about the drill. This had me in tears. You can find more of these of epicfail.com where videos and photos of people / things that are done well are celebrated.

Top 10: Things You Didn’t Know About Family Guy

2011-05-25T12:00:00.001-04:00

I don't know if these are really the premiere TOP 10 things you'd like to know about Family Guy (frankly, I'd like to know how on earth they get all their guest voices for the show, especially considering how they roast celebs frequently).

But here are 10 items of interest, anyhow. (And, I have seen the episode of South Park that they talk about, but no, I haven't heard of a "Manatee joke" as an expression.)

Things You Didn’t Know About Family Guy
Posted by LeTune

There’s a lot if things you don’t know about this show, trust us. The American animated TV series Family Guy can easily be compared to a juicy episode of a latin telenovela. Near death experiences, ongoing rivalries, cancellations and accusations of grand theft animation. Here is just a couple little known but interesting facts about Fox’s hit animated series, Family Guy.

1. Cartoon Network saves the show

It’s pretty well known that Family Guy was initially canceled by Fox, only to be brought back later. What’s less known is that it was the show’s own syndication on Cartoon Network that revived it. It seems that airing the reruns on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim lineup rebuilt a fan base for the show, and its ratings and DVD sales skyrocketed. Fox, realizing their mistake in canceling the show, quickly sought to revive it and create new episodes.

2. Cartoon Wars

Family Guy has always had a bit of controversy around itself, but the show actually went as far as to earn the ire of rival animated series. South Park released a two part episode entitled Cartoon Wars, in which Family Guy is relentlessly mocked for it’s cutaway jokes that have little if anything to do with the story. The episode actually coined the phrase “manatee jokes” due to South Park’s explanation that these jokes were written by a tank of manatees using balls with pop culture references written on them.

3. Cartoon Wars part 2

South Park isn’t alone for mocking Family Guy. The Simpsons has had a rivalry of their own with the show. Beginning when The Simpsons showed a picture of Peter Griffin on a wanted poster with the name “Plagarisimo” on it has started a back and forth between the two shows. Family Guy went as far as to have its resident lady’s man, Glenn Quagmire, hook up with Marge Simpson. The joke went on to have Homer discover the two and ended with Quagmire killing all five Simpsons. It probably goes without saying that the network didn’t let this scene go to air, although it is available on the DVDs.

4. The many voices of Meg

Meg Griffin is currently voiced by That 70’s Show veteran, Mila Kunis, but that wasn’t always the case. In the series pilot, she was voiced by actress Rachel MacFarlane, who is also sister the show’s creator. For the next several episodes, Meg was voiced by an uncredited Lacey Chabert (Party of Five, Mean Girls) before Kunis took the part.

5. Chris Griffin, aka Buffalo Bill

When auditions were being held for the role of Chris, many actors looked at the design for the character and gave him a “surfer” voice, according to MacFarlane. When Seth Green auditioned, however, he did something a little different. It seems that earlier that week, Green and friends were joking around by talking in the voice style of Buffalo Bill, the serial killer from Silence of the Lambs. Green auditioned using said voice and it won him the part of the Griffin’s slow-witted son.

6. Patrick Warburton’s mom is not a fan

Patrick Warburton, the voice of paraplegic cop Joe Swanson, has made quite a fan base for himself. Unfortunately, his mom isn’t part of it. Warburton’s mother, a devout Christian, has actually gone as far as to write letters to the FCC voicing her displeasure with the show and has been trying to convince him to quit for years.

7. MacFarlane survives 9/11

A much less humorous fact about the show is that its creator, Seth MacFarlane, came very close to being killed on 9/11. By his own admission, MacFarlane had a little too much to drink the night before an early flight and didn’t make it to the airport in time. That flight was later hijacked and flew into the north tower.

8. The Life of Larry

Before it was Family Guy, it was The Life of Larry. MacFarlane created a short cartoon called The Life of Larry that followed the adventures of Larry, a middle aged New Englander who went through life with his anthropomorphic dog, Steve. It was this short that was used to get MacFarlane a deal to produce a pilot for Family Guy, where Larry and Steve became Peter and Brian.

9. Stewie’s untold story

The homicidal and sexually ambiguous infant, Stewie, is no stranger to controversy, and that includes one that happened behind the scenes. MacFarlane has been accused of stealing the character from cartoonist Chris Ware, and his Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth series. MacFarlane claims he had never heard of or seen the comic when he created Stewie, but admits there are similarities. Both feature children with football-shaped heads, high IQs, and an eloquent speech pattern.

10. An honor just to be nominated

The Emmy awards have separate categories for animated television series, but the Family Guy crew set their sights a little higher. In 2009, Family Guy became the first animated series to be nominated for a best comedy series Emmy award since The Flintstones in 1961. Although they didn’t take home the trophy, the nomination itself was quite an accomplishment.

Overtime goals can be awfully strange

2011-05-25T06:43:00.003-04:00

Check this one out from last night - I've never seen anything like it, though Bieksa's sneaky goal to eliminate San Jose is similar in some ways (in degrees of "sneaky" anyhow) to Scott Niedermayer's eliminating goal against Luongo a few years ago where Roberto was arguing with the ref, and Scott snuck a low shot from the blueline into the net.

Anyhow - you check it out:

Laying sod

2011-05-24T06:38:00.003-04:00

After the tremendous amount of weeding over the past two weeks, I'm excited to have been able to finally lay some sod in the backyard. I unrolled only 10 rolls of sod, but it's already making a difference. And I'm hoping, now that we've spent so much time on the weeds, that they'll be more manageable.

In any case, we're off to a good start with the yard this spring - and I got a great tan as a result. Good long weekend.

This only makes it better:

Blue Rodeo

2011-05-23T12:22:00.002-04:00

Saw Blue Rodeo on Friday night. I was a little leery of going, because I don't know a lot of Blue Rodeo songs, but of course their biggest hits are really great, so I was going to be happy to hear those.

We got there, waited quite a while for the band, and then they stormed out with 5 Days in May, it was about 8 minutes long, had two solos (one on the piano, and then another on the guitar) and it totally rocked. I was really blown away.

They wasted no time, segueing into Hasn't Hit Me Yet, which requires a bit of a tangent. To open the set, the MC introduced Blue Rodeo by asking: Who do you want? a couple times, with a muddled slurry of responses that didn't resemble "Blue Rodeo" even if you were trying really hard to try and hear that.

Yet, the stage lights clearly indicated that the audience was to sing the opening verse to Hasn't Hit Me Yet, which they did with medical precision. It was kind of surprising that the crowd was able to succeed in this, when they'd failed so greatly in simply saying the band's name.

In any case, they were fantastic. The song had a day-long solo as well, rocking all the way. It was loud, it was awesome, and full of energy. They did great. ...

BUT after opening with basically the only two songs they have that I wanted to hear, I feared that they would progress into all their songs I've never heard before, with equally long solos to bridge between choruses of tunes that didn't ever even make the radio.

I was right. Luckily, with the wristband, you could leave and walk around the quiet town (what with everyone in the local arena - the type that has bleachers on one side, and that's about it - it was quite pleasant going for a stroll).

In the end, they wrapped up with Lost Together, pulling the opening band up on stage with them, so there were 9 band members going at it, and it was well done. The bookend songs were really nice, and all that unfamiliar country jamming filled the middle (which, obviously, isn't my idea of great).

but it was alright.

I imagine this would be what it's like to watch Econoline Crush headline an event.

For the record, Better Off As We Are plagiarizes 867-5309 almost note-for-note. Seriously.

On a less important note:
Lead singer Jim Cuddy bears a remarkable resemblance to University of Windsor president Alan Wildeman.

Switch the hair and tie around, and you've got doppelgangers.

Fundraising Faux-Pas No. 5

2011-05-22T08:29:00.001-04:00

If you were thinking, "Man, I sure hope there's a new Fundraising Faux-pas two days in a row," you're likely merely a figment of my imagination - but nonetheless, here is a new cartoon to check out.

If you're reading this, it means that the world hasn't ended, as it's supposed to

Thank God we made it.There are to things to consider: A) the world didn't end or B) we weren't called by the Rapture, and for us unsaved souls, it's business as usual. And we'll be stuck here with the "meek" as they inherit the earth, while all the others ascend to the heavens for the eternal life.

"Be not wise in thine own eyes," eh?

In context:

Further Benefits of Wisdom

3 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many
years
and bring you prosperity.
3 Let love and faithfulness never leave
you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good
name
in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own
understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight (alternate translation: "will direct your paths").
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; (my emphasis)
fear the Lord and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
9 Honor the Lord with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
10 then your barns will be filled to
overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new
wine.

What is this really saying? To me, it sounds more like excerpts from one of my favourite writings:

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in times of sudden misfortune.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its shams, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

I honestly think this passage's message is closer to "strive to be happy" than it is "sell all your stuff because the world is ending." But, then again "lean not on your own / understanding;" right?